ure my star

2005-10-10T21:42:00.000+08:00

;reality of life is crude.

oh wells. one intriguing news. EOY EXAMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER FOR 3E6!
time to celebrate!
enjoy live.
away from books.
nowhere near books that's for sure!

sunbaking.
my love. here i come! <3
hahaX.
zoo at wed. oh nice. i've not been to the zoo for eon years. =/ uncountable. hahaX.

ah li is the QUEEN OF AL LI BABA.
i'm the QUEEN OF GLAM.
<3
we are certified.=)

went eating at northpoint in the foodcourt. cuiyi was. funny today. swimming at jurong with ah libabaBA-queen-, cuiyi and lixiang. three guys irritated and bullied ah li. sad. hahaX. now my hair is DRY. sad. shall moisturise it. =) smooth and silky. oh wow. hahaX. went hm after swimming and eating. got bullied by tingyong. idiot. BLAHH. fred was NOISY. very noisy. blahhs.

holidays.
iheartthem.

2005-10-08T20:45:00.000+08:00

finally.
after so long i could use the computer with ease. =/
alright. not fully at ease.
i do see my amaths books waving at me. =/
but after monday, exams are going to be OFFICIALLY OVER for 3e6. :)) cheerios.

horrible week of studying and studying has drained me.
i'm so tired now.
however.
AFTER THE LAST PAPER ON MONDAY 3E6 HAS 6 DAYS OF HOLIDAYS!
sheesh. i look forward to it. VERY MUCH. ((: i swear i am going to make full use of these 6 days and slack and slack AND SLACK!

i yearn to go
east coast park
towning
bugis
sentosa
tanning
SHOPPING
cycling
roller blading

went to mac to study amaths today with samantha and caroline. hahaX. but before that i went to sembawang to return joel his shoe bag and i have to wait for half an hour for mister joel to come get his shoe bag =/ oh my. it's the first time i've to wait for someone for so long. =/ i hate to wait for people. though i might be late at times. =X but he's forgiven since he was held up by i dunno wad lahhs and he RUSHED out WITHOUT shaving. hahaX. with that i shall forgive him lahhs. LOL. luckily i had samantha to wait with me. heh. and she aimed a bike. LOL. we made use of the waiting time. hahaX.

to 3e6 we'll do our best for the last paper! :)) hope all of us could get PROMOTED to 4e6. :)) to those 4n's people all the best for your n-lvl. to those taking o'lvl it's approaching so take loads of care yeas? ((: enjoy yourself, go crazy after the major test! :))

2005-10-02T19:38:00.000+08:00

thursday.
went to the BK to study after school with li xiang, ying hua and huixian. we were studying till 6 and were about to go when we suddenly talked about sec 1 stuffs. i realise.. i miss sec 1 alot. the happiest year though there were some sad stuffs, but nevertheless, i miss sec 1. how i wish i could go back to sec 1. i wish i could. =)

damn. you've turned my world upside down. oh well thanks for that. i just wished..

mann! i need a break away from those books, notes, exercises and wadeva that is associated with STUDIES. =/ urgh. STRESS.

2005-09-19T18:30:00.000+08:00

mr cockroach paid me a surprise visit yesterday and got me oh so excited that i jumped all around like a crazy girl. =/ my dear daddy who heard the hysterical screaming came to his dear daughter rescue. =) however, when dear daddy wanted to send mister cockroach off, mr cockroach decided to play hide and seek.but, sad to say. mister cockroach got himself flattened under a big palm and plunged to death from the ninth storey. . oh how sad. but here am i with a evil grin. heh heh.

mr spidey too paid me a BIG surprise today. i was SO surprised to see mr spidey. but mister man chong instead of helping me, he got mister spidey nearer to my place. oh ya. i thank you VERY MUCH! very very much indeed. =/ hahaX. well. mr zafrie and joon leng decided to get mister spider nearer to my place. but mr zafrie had a little bit more conscience then mr ng joon leng because mr zafrie decided to help me catch the spider although it failed. =/ however. mr spidey thinks it's scary to play with HUMANS therefore he went to hide around the pile of books belonging to mister man chong.

right. that was LAME. =/ but. how i wished i was living in a world that is freeless of cockroach, spider, lizards blahh blahh blahh. and ms caroline koh was so great to scare me with e FAKE RUBBER LIZARD. =/ scary. suddenly a invasion of insects in my daily life eh? =/ bleahs.

2005-09-13T17:03:00.000+08:00

9moredays~ 22september'o5 =))

there's a booster session next monday. =)) but it's in e afternoon. hahX. ah gay was COMPLAINING and COMPLAINING. well. normal day as usual but we had amaths lesson after school. =/ ah li hit me during amaths lesson as i kept falling asleep. ah li baba BA evil dont want let me sleep -oops.- heh. JK JK!!! ((=

tmr's a tiring day. there's gadget making tomorrow. for the two groups going for the cluster game on friday. well. good luck guys. it's gonna be very tiring so take loads of rest. =))

hahaX. felicia is one CRAZY girl. she wants to bring a oven to the library for the adam khoo course tmr. =/ heh.. and she tout she could bath during the camp. LOL. crazy girl. hahaX. full of weird things in her mine.=/ scary. hahaX. FELICIA. NTH ABOUT THE SPIDER. =/ bleahs. frederick is also one crazy one. fancy him getting all tensed up about the course. hahaX. relax lahh ppl. LOL. it's not as if it's a training camp. it's not NS lahhs. hahaX. relax relax! LOL. you'll all enjoy de! really=)

well. i've nth to write so bye ppl. back to my books. mugging time. =/

ihateyou.

2005-09-12T17:10:00.000+08:00

damn. there is a limit to my patience especially to a teacher like you. i tell you once and for all. I QUIT YOUR TUITION. who the hell cares about your tuition when all you do is be a hypocrite and a backstabber. well i'll tell you ppl what happened and you shall tell me is there such a teacher. believe me or not. that's your problem. but i've not seen such a teacher throughout my 15 years of life until now.

12september'o5
at about 12 midnight. samantha sms-ed me and woke me up from my beauty sleep. yes MY beauty sleep. she sms-ed this to me " blahh blahh blahh ..... he tell my mother to call me not to be friends with you. " well. i was still semi-conscious. so i sms-ed her asking her wad the fcuk happened. she told me " blahh blahh blahh ...he told my mum say dun be friends with tl cause wad attitude blah blahh blahh.." this got me fully-awake. i was FCUK pissed off. very very pissed off and i asked him if he did say anything about me to samantha's mother. he DENY EVERYTHING. and. he blamed samantha saying she has mental prob and said smth about samantha's mother. well. LOOK HERE WHO IS THE ONE WITH MENTAL PROB HERE? AINT IT OBVIOUS THAT IT WAS YOU? or are you trying to tell me that you're having a serious split personality prob? oh my goodness. poor you? but i guess you do not need to borrow any money from us to cover up your medical expenses cause you've CHEATED SO MUCH OF OUR MONEY yea? alright. back to my conversation with mark. he told me that he did not say my name throughtout the conversation with samantha's mum and said he miss gladys, huixian, joon kiat, lishuang and co. and well. OBVIOUSLY. i did not believe him. well and he told me something about doris and suanned doris. well. clever me recorded this down as i was kind of bored that time. so doris. if you happen to see this and you wanna know what he says about you. look for me then. =) i'd be glad to let you listen to what he said about you. well and then i ended my conversation with him. and this morning he told samantha's mother and samantha just told me about it. she said "blahh bahh blahh.. he call my mum this morning and say that i call you.. he said that that person is you" WHICH MEANS. HE MEANT ME YESTERDAY. wadeva. i cannot be bothered by wad you say cause mostly. IT AINT TRUE. onli 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% could be believed. well. THAT'S SO SAD YEA? cry then i wont pity you. that's wad you get for maligning me cause i simply got no compassion against ppl who malign me. well. too bad. BLAHH.

oh ya. mark you said you missed them yea? well. you and your stupid mouth is what caused you to lose so many of your students. i AINT surprised at all. well. NO ONE is suprised at all. who wants to go to a tuition centre that has such a tuition teacher that bad talks about their student and BE so damnit nice to their student? omg. you IRRITATE THE DAYLIGHT OUT OF ME. i was actually having quite a nice holiday and YOU destroyed it. wad the hell man. i'm so damnit pissed lahh. oh and he told someone that guides lao da was talking bad things about us. saying we were calafare in guides. well. do you think she will say things like that? PI GU WAIT LONG LAHH.

well is he a good teacher or not? tell me ppl!

cuiyi, yanli and yongqiang NO SPIDER FOR ME EVER AGAIN! =/

2005-09-11T17:45:00.000+08:00

wee~ i'm a happy girl. hahaX. i bought 3 op skirts. LOL. and some.. Lingerie? hahaX. lalala. that was yesterday. went to the library with gladys and SAMANTHA today. LOL. gladys was. LATE.. hahaX. we went library got to told off by a LIBRARIAN. hahaX. stupid lahh. so little table wad you expect. bleah. and i tout librarian was supposed to be caring and sweet. but she was just the opposite. bleah. so fierce for wad? =/ hahaX. then we decided to head to my house to mugg. but in the end. lalala. temptation from the computer and they headed back hm at 5 and here am i. bored to bits. =/ hahaX. shall go back to my books now. bye ppl.

aishiteru

2005-09-09T22:14:00.000+08:00

i'm still missing the camp.

2005-09-08T21:20:00.000+08:00

amin, jeff and us. so sad that melvin and danny werent there. i love everyone in the picture. well ying hua too. hahaX. cause she went off early. =)

2005-09-08T17:40:00.000+08:00

to the idiot pranker who just called me:
hey. you DO NOT call me and tell me you saw me on blahh blahh blahh.com and got my hp no frm blahh blahh blahh.com and come telling me: "hey you are such a diva, i saw your picture on blahh blahh.com and got your no. from blahh blahh.com i showed my mother your picture and she said blahh blahh and -explicitwrds-." i hung up upon hearing those words. AND mind you. there were laughters behind your voice. so get a fucking life man. my phone bill is not for you to waste. well. you're a clever guy as you used a private number if not you will get HELL from me. damn you. i DO NOT know who is that idiot who passed to you my number. but.. i've got a slight idea though. so better NOT prank call me! get a life lahh idiots. a bunch of imbecile. call again and i'll sue you till your pants drop. eh. forget it. i dun want to see your fucking dingling. i'll sue you till you go crazy! idiotS. well. that's LAME guys for you.

2005-09-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

hey ppl! i'm back from the camp! =) actually to say the truth. i was.. sad for the camp to end cause i will definately miss the motivators and Dj who are amin, melvin, danny and jeff. thanks for everything, well. no words can pen down how i feel. =) heh. thanks for the wake up call, thanks for the motivation that you have screwed deep into us, the different study techniques and etc. thanks alot. you guys made me learn eons stuffs that i did not realise. hahaX. today was the graduation thingy and well some ppl teared and some cried. hahaX. cnt bear for the camp to end u c. =) well. the 9 flowers(me, gladys, samantha, lixiang, cuiyi, yinghua, yanli, huixian and cheryl) hugged amin. cos he was the only one there for our graduation while melvin and danny went to other schools for camp. we took foto with amin and jeff too. =))

to my dear friends(everyone that has attended this camp.)
heyas ppl! the camp has already ended. well. most of ur feels motivated yea? heh. well. let's continue to keep this spirit in our life yea? let's all work towards our goal. =) end of year is nearing so let us all work hard towards our goal. we shall nvr give up yea? cos failure is just a learning process! hahaX. i love my dear friends loads. takaiire everyone! =) nights! =))

amin.
hey AMINAH. hahaX. you're one handsome guy man. REALLY. =) i really really have to thank you for helping me realise many many things. =) thanks alot. and yes. we as each individual decides who we are. =) hahaX. and i'm so glad i got to hug you. LOL. love you.

melvin.
oh my! you're e funniest guy mann. hahaX. you too taught us many things that are invaluable. to go towards our goal no matter wad setbacks we have. though you taught us many dirty and CRAZY things ppl can imagine about, i really really have to thank you very much for everything and love you too. =))

danny.
hey hey. the guy who likes the holy voice. hahaX. thanks alot too. hahaX. the ups down were TIRING lahhs. hahaX. but thanks for teaching us about the speed reading. =) i'm sorry that because of us your voice changed and you got a sore throat. but nontheless iloveyou.

jeff.
hey our DJ for 3 days. thanks for always playing the background music, motivating music and music during break! hahaX. hope you too can get to your goal that you told us. =) i love the musics and you. =)

once again. a BIG THANK YOU. -hugs-

the greatest fear is not that we are inadequate.
the greatest fear is that we are too powerful to be measured.
think deeply through what it means. and apply it to everything in your life. appreciate everything around you, everyone and most importantly, the inner you, how does it feels. i love everyone around me FOREVER till death, and if possible, even after death i'll still remember everyone that has make a difference in my life and that includes. wadeva. =)

i realise.
you aint that heartless afterall.

2005-09-05T21:51:00.000+08:00

oh my, tell me that your butt would not get numb after sitting on the chair constantly for a few hours. without standing. =/ well. they did a great job in numbing my butt though. =/ so people. enjoy standing while you can or get your butt numb. hahaX. well. the adam khoo camp is quite fun lahh. we are kind of crazy. hahaX. we have amin, melvin and danny as the ppl teaching us. and there's JEFF, our DJ. hahaX. learnt kind of loads of stuffs actually and i got SUAN. piang. can u imagine that? urgh. wadeva.

hahX. oh ya. i must say smth. the food aint nice! protest! humph. can we pleaseeeee have nicer food? pwease... hahaX.

YANLI AR! SORRY FOR PANG SEY-ING YOU AR! heh. dui bu qi. >.< hehe. lalala. have fun walking with them though. =X hahaX. oops.

wen did you come into my mind again?
the things flooded back.
i realised..
i did not let go fully.

2005-09-02T20:39:00.000+08:00

i know i made a big mistake.
i am sorry.

o1september'o5
first and foremost, happy teachers day to all the teachers.
mr kumar -3e6 beloved form teacher!-
ms susan soh -MOST CARING TEACHER! =)) -
ms kong - our beloved chemistry teacher! -
ms tan li leng - our amaths teacher who is always giving homework! hahaX. -
mdm saudah - Liars go to hell is her fav. quote! our ever funny humanities teacher! -
ms zhang - punishment giver! =/ hahaX. -
ms tan ping ping - our emaths teacher. -
and congrats to miss susan soh for getting the most caring teacher award! =))

happy birthday to zhiwei.
hahaX. went sakae to eat. many boys! 4 girls. lixiang, samantha, huxian and i. the boys are disgusting lahh. fancy them playing and competing in eating some gross stuffs. hahaX. ah gay doesnt seems to be making people laugh in agony while eating in sakae. hahaX. li xiang vomited. takkaiire loads girl. hahaX. walked all the way from sembawang shopping center to chong pang and it was raining HEAVILY by the time we reached chong pang! halfway, crapp things happen. LOL. joon kiat vomitted. and after that continue walking but SOMEHOW, ah gay wanted people to laugh and he started laughing like MAD. followed by reuben and the rest of the guys. =/ can u tell me it was not embarassing walking with them? =/ people walking on the path across us were looking at us. gawsh. they are a bunch of crazy people! =/ lixiang and i AINT crazy! LOL. ah gay was great. hahaX. he lent us his umbrella. our supplier. so ppl in case it rains. call ah gay. LOL. took bus to yishun and went back home. =))

o2september'o5
today is the teacher's day concert. hahaX. the concert was marvelous. the songs, the dance put up by the chinese dancers and the graduating classes were excellent! haha. some were hilarious too! =))

the one week holiday is starting. well, or rather it has started? hahaX. anyway. it does not seem to be any holiday to me. we have to go for the adam khoo's course from 8am all the way to 9pm. oh my. how tiring is that? and it is from monday to wednesday! =/ i wanna sleep!! hahaX. and we have a-maths remedial on thursday. do we still have to go back to school on friday for CCA? well. does it seem to be any holiday at all? hahaX. i think it does not seem to be a holiday at all! we are more pack then on a normal school week! now we have to manage our time real well because there is still HOLIDAY HOMEWORK! and there is tons of them! =/

take care loads humans! enjoy while you can before you are tied down by the workloads! =) hahaX. it's mugging time! lol.

2005-08-31T22:19:00.000+08:00

damnit lahhs. i'm feeling so splenetic.
i am freaking irritated by my blardy brother.
who is best at nth but to irritate me.
how does he irritates me you might ask.
-goes through my stuffs.
-oh btw. it's my PERSONAL stuffs. my GODDAMN PERSONAL STUFFS.
-he doesnt ask permission before taking MY handphone.
-he goes into my rm as and when he likes and takes my stuffs w/o my permission. (i fucking hate it, i buy things using MY money!)
-he has this i-rule-in-this-house-i-am-the-owner-of-everything-since-i-am-older-than-you attitude.(yada yada u this chao lao ah gua)
-he is a bimbo, such a big guy and still gets money from parents. THROW FACE.
-he is useless. fancy giving all sorts of excuses to excuse himself from NS.(he cnt protect the country. so do not ever think of relying on him to save our country.)
all this does not seems venial to ME!
right. this is my eldest bro and not my sec bro. my sec bro is BETTER. MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE BETTER!

2005-08-30T16:59:00.000+08:00

right. today was yet another boring day. gladys, sam and ah xian went cycling so went back hm and here am i. =/ i'm geting bored coming online so often. shall not come online tt often. right. mdm saudah was bad today. she neglected us to go to 4n2. bad right? hahaX. but nvrm since the 4n2 ppl are having their paper next wk. at least she would not neglect us afte next week. hahaX. alright. i'm bad. but i'm just crapping. =)

24hrs a day
-school - 8 hrs.
-study - 6hrs
-sleep - 8hrs
- eat - 2hrs
well. ppl. how much percentage do you think i will stick to this timing? well. i dun think i'll stick to it much though. =/ shall be more magnanimous. i'll give it a 5o-5o percent thingy. =) hopefully i can stick to this. hahaX. EOY approaching in just 4-5 wks!-pullshair-

teacher's day coming soon. well shall greet the teachers an advance teacher's day yep? heh. happy teachers day to mr kumar, ms kong, ms soh, mdm saudah, ms tanS. eh. did i leave out any teacher? =X hahaX. anyway. i just wanna take this chance to thank all he teachers for their encouragement and also for their guidance. =)

well. i've got a stupid link that i find it kind of vulgar but funny. hahaX. well well. humans, it aint suitable for u if u are someone who doesnt like vulgarities. takkaiire loads humans. =) http://www.glink.net.hk/~khtsang/funny/f_word.swf

i suddenly feel fucking alone.
alone in this empty house.
afraid of loneliness.
feelings that i cannot explain.
mayb i'm too sensitive.
i need to talk.
but i aint got any idea how to start.

2005-08-29T18:02:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to my dear cousin! =))
takkaire loads.=D

well. it's time for a long entry i guess. since i'm like hell bored at home. hahaX. it has been eons years that i have not written a long entry. =)

as i said. got back my freaking results. total disappointment. hahaX. needless to say. now my hopes are on the combine humanities and english. i really hope i can pass my english. -prays-

nth much happen today. just another normal day. woke up went to school. well. ms tan li leng is back. =) which is a good thing as she teaches better, but there goes my toilet breaks. =/ hahaX. went out to eat after school with samantha, ying hua, cuiyi and gladys. went to KFC. went home after that! =) well well. those who wanna play bball tomorrow take note oh! bring your PE tomorrow. hahaX. oh! samantha went to trim her hair. she says it's very thin now. i wonder how it looks like cause she says that it is funny? hahaX. =)) ..

hmm. i'm getting SICK of my skin. i wanna have a vintage mickey skin.. =/ but i aint got much time though i know how to make one. hahaX. right. i'm lazy lahhs.lalalas. i've changed my dear tagboard to flashbox. i saw it in huiting's blog and find it nice. =) . hahaX. kinda style!

went blog-hopping a few days back and i saw a entry on some people's blog about project superstar that make me kind of pissed off. i cannot stand it wen people start to discriminate wei lian. right so what if we cannot see? we took our eyesight for granted dont we? i mean wad's the prob with you ppl? wei lian = human. aint u ppl human too? wad's the point for discriminating the people who are blind? since you are so good in discriminating ppl and talking about others flaws, why do you not go out and join the project superstar? or worse still. did you get KICK OUT? at least even though he is blind, he knows how to work towards his dream. he holds onto his dream. he does not have other backings. he works hard to achieve what he has today. he has got a great voice. not everyone has got a good voice. do you dare to tell me that you are BETTER then him? that you too can work as hard as him and ignoring other's unkind words that are thrown at you? if people are continuing to have adamant, critism, indignant, self-righteous, defensive kind of attitude, how is our country ever going to improve? aint singaporeans supposed to be a more open minded country? why do people still diss on them? or rather have you ppl ask yourself why did jun yang got out instead of wei lian? BLAME YOURSELF for not being more supportive of your idol. for not calling more!

fine wadeva. i tink it's kind of long. =/ anyways. WHO WANTS TO GO OUT WITH YOU? WE ARE ALSO NOT CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY! blahhs.

2005-08-28T21:55:00.000+08:00

daniel powter - Bad Day

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day

2005-08-27T13:50:00.000+08:00

term test is over.
most of the results are taken back.
flunk of testes.
wadeva.
totally disappointed.
final year exam.
i shall work hard for it.
=))

wadeva.
your name.
is not in my dictionary now.
since you decided to go.
dun come back.
back off.

2005-08-21T20:22:00.000+08:00

damn u.
u spoilt my day.
u got the fun that i had out of me.
ihateit.
wad a nice slap u gt on me.
THANKS alot.
i really appreciated that.

2005-08-19T20:21:00.000+08:00

yesh! term test is finally over.. which means final year exams are just round the corner! =/ i seemed to be so unprepared for the end of yr exam. wad have i been doing for the past year?! i'm sure gonna do badly for this term test. sat for amaths paper yday and i was like. omg. wad is this? how to solve that and was so damn fed up that i handed in a plain graph paper. bless me.

i dont wanna get back my results next week. it is sure to be disappointing and i dont wanna feel disappointed. i'm gonna buck up for my end of year exam. -pullshair-

man. i'm dead beat today. went for the trail for the cluster game and it was.
tiring.
hot.
thirsty.
irritated.
boring.
sleepy.
legs were tired.
almost lost my dear key. thanks clare for helping me find it! thanks loads. =)

so many ppl are getting sick. including me. bless everyone. take loads of care. =) lastly. I HATE TO HAVE FLU! =/

might be going to catch the maid tmr. =/ bless me. =X

so you do know
the meaning of missing
someone badly yea?
so go as u may and miss her
for i am not gonna bother.
nvr ever again.
bless you and HER.
treasure HER.

2005-08-11T20:12:00.000+08:00

yea..! happy belated birthday to singapore! =) .. shant say the wishes as they're kind of a cliche thing? =) .. anyway.. spent the national day with my friends! heh.. they're me, lixiang, gladys, mandy, anni, isaac, ah qiang, davin and vishaal. band ppl joined us after they returned to yishun! YTWO rocks! =) .. our school's band rocks yea? =) .. heh.. zhiwei and peng swee joined us at the last part.. ah gay and co. was actually with us but.. stupid ah qiang ask him to follow joon kiat they all.. -.-' .. hahaX.. yea yea! have loads of fun can?! LOL.. shall post some foto yea? =)

the girls..

li xiang and me

one of the nicest shots i've taken for the fireworks? hahaX..

dont the GUYS look dreamy? hahaX..

i miss the feeling of being in your cuddles..
i'm feeling 40kinds of saddness with you gone.
all the sweet things you said were nth to you.
but meant a lot to me.
i'm not gonna hold on from this moment.
i've got to learn to let go.
but forever you shall remain in my heart.

2005-08-05T21:15:00.000+08:00

where are you thy grandmother?
awww.. the results that i have been taking back are so OMG!! it's always. fail fail and fail! i hate hate hate to have headaches! it's irritating me mann.. i've been popping and popping pills.. =/ i'm scared of pills nw.. =/ hahaX..

i'm bored i'm bored i'm bored.. today's english term test is gonna be a flung for me.. i wrote qns 2-write about a predicament you were in and how you handle it.- i know the meaning of predicament but stupid lahhs.. i wrote a really lousy composition and it was kind of out of point.. mann.. how nice was that huh?! urgh!!!

really have to buck up mann.. i forgot everything about chemical calculation.. urgh.. how idiot can it be! gawsh gawsh really have a lot of things to catch up with. =/

i'll be there for you.
i'll always remain by your side.
i'll be there when nobody else is, to care, to love and kiss away tears and bring smiles on rainy days.
did you forgot them? or did you simply just say for the sake of it?
i do not know.. but i'm sure i do miss you and i love you.

-bitch-
somehow i dont believe wad you have said. you claim to know me well? BULLSHIT.. i can sae with a 100% confidence that you do not know me well enough, or rather you do not know me at all. You did not try to understand, all you did was just walk away, afraid to make me angry. why oh why. i tell you now that i am angry now cause you claim to know me but u nvr understand me. right it aint a good thing to say yea? but that's how it is. and i tink it will remain as it is huh?
dont bother asking me who am i refering to cause you'll gt nth out of me.

i'm feeling fucking empty now..
i dont know why..
my dear fairy god-mother..
where are you?
fill the emptiness in me for i need YOU..
i may laugh
i may joke
but am i happy deep down?
FREAKING NO..
i dont c why i should show you all..
and let you all see wad's within..
i wanna share happiness but not my sorrows..
-bitched-

2005-08-01T20:11:00.000+08:00

aww.. my chinese marks is undesirable.. once again.. i FLUNK my chinese test.. as expected lahhs. but still i dont like chi. i still dun know how to analyse well.. i'm not good with my chinese vocablary.. it's very limited.. i know less than 10? and the 10 are like so cliche please?

woots.. i'm a goodie girl today.. finished my homework befor i went hm! =D aint i gd? hahaX.. yaya i'm crazy..

gladys is gonna get sick liao! haiyo.. take panandol lahhs! and take good care of yourself! =D heh.. =PpP ..

2005-07-31T13:09:00.000+08:00

urgh.. the tagboard is still DOWN! stupid thing. it's making my blog so lagg. =/

i'm kinda bored nw. nono. not kind of. i really am frigging bored. i need some kind of entertainment pls. =) weekend's gonna end in a few more hrs. returning to the hectic school days. =/

i cant stand it anymore! i dun wanna stay at hm and hear them fight. it's getting on my nerves. anyone wants to go to the library? i'll go crazy sooner or later..

why do humans take the people ard them for granted?
why do we not cherish the ppl whom loves and cares for us?

2005-07-30T23:15:00.000+08:00

stupid tagboard is down again. for the uncountable time. irritating me. hectic week i have. though not busy with CCA but busy with school work. it's weighing me down. term test is approaching. Nt prepared. i'm not confident tt i could pass well. just pray that i can pass. one thing for sure. i wont pass my chinese. it's toooooo difficult. might as well ask me to take up chinese literature. i've gt no faith in the new format. at least for the old format i have more faith. =/ ...

oh yas.. congrats to 3e6 guys. they've won the other classes in rugby. we're all proud of them. the 3e6's class spirit never leaves any one fo us. others have no right to doubt us. no right to critise us. cause we are wad we are. DONT LABEL US. =)

2005-07-17T21:24:00.000+08:00

samantha, me and caroline! hahax.. took it kind of long ago.. i love them loads loads.. =)

becky, me, sara and eugenia.. after POP ceremony.. =)

right one thing after another happens.. i've enuff of those craps mann.. when will it end? god knows when but i dun know when! damnit lahh.. might as well take everything away from me and leave me in peace!

well well.. gonna go and do my IC tomorrow.. cause it's the last day for doing my IC.. =/ .. have to go home early which i dislike! =/

anyway.. happy birthday in advance to weihow! wish you good luck in your studies and your upcoming o's blah blah blah.. hahaX.. have fun after your o'level lahhx.. start studying hard now.. LOL.. sounds cliche?! I KNOW LAHH.. LOL..

2005-07-13T20:50:00.000+08:00

i feel..
sad,
frustrated,
maglined,
unfair..

carry on,
move on,
dun think too much,
i'll support you,
they're beast,
yada yada yada..
i know those too.
they are cliche
but somehow,
i need to stop,
think about it,
cool down.

am i okay?
that's wad many ppl ask..
i ask myself that too.
i got no answer
thus i tell people that i'm okay.
am i contradicting myself?
am i living in denial?
i'll be lying if i say i'm happy.
but..
who wont?

i've accepted it.
but.
i'll have to sort it out.
i wont quit.
cause i aint a weakling.
i've gotta buck up on everything.
esp my studies.
they're going DOWNHILL..

i need
a hug.
i want
a hug.
a big hug.

2005-07-12T18:13:00.000+08:00

not an ACL anymore.. just a PL..

2005-07-04T15:40:00.000+08:00

happy birthday jiaen!

hope you had fun in swensens.. esp the ice-cream part.. heh.. suriati was so.. pathetic.. =X .. oPPs!!!! heh.. anyways.. hope everything turns out well for you this year and the years to come! takkaire loads my dear friend whose birthday is onli 2 days away frm mine! =DD .. love yas loadds loadds and takkaiire.. =DD .. heh..

2005-07-03T12:35:00.000+08:00

about the middle of the week, gg knows about their rank.. to say the truth. i was quite surprised to see that i was the ACL of the company. i was shock but i knew that truth is that and i have much more responsibility to take on now and also since i am a HSC now.. i was doubtful of my ability to take the challenge at first..

to say the truth i had even wanted to give up on my rank and on being a HSC.. but after talking to one of my friend. i realise that i must do my best and not let the teachers down.. i know it aint going to be easy since some sec3's were also doubful of my abilities and since i've been the one who has raise my hand when the seniors ask who is not willing to go for NDP parade.. it might have been a moment of folly but the truth is there.. it's will be hard to earn back the trust that i've lost on that friday to the juniors and fellow squad members but i'll earn it back. it aint going to be a talk and no action thing but it'll be a talk and action thing as i need to earn back the trust in them and to be a good leader. i told myself that i would do my best and knowing that i've done my best in things, i would not feel that bad.. there are still loads of things that i have got to learn and hesitation would not be given any chance if i want to learn and i'm willing to..

after i'd gotten to know tat i was a HSC and ACL, i wanted to tell my mummy but i reckon that she would not be happy with it because she'd rather i spent e rest of my time with studies and not bothering myself with those workloads that guides and a HSC would bring upon me.. i went hm.. told her about it and before i could add anything else she shut me up.. little wonder how sad i was.. with what she said i was more sure that i would show her that i could handle guides stuff, school and HSC well.. i do not like to be look down on and yes i do have pride so was i was going to show her that i could handle all the things well. i've been thinking.. would you understand me? i know that i'll be spending much more time in school with school matters and i really hope that i aint jeopardising everything. would u try to understand my situation?

some things lost is not easy to take back.

2005-07-02T20:23:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to me!

mum woke me up and she sang a birthday song to me.. so sweet of her rgt? hahaX.. went for mark and took crazy pictures with caroline samantha and denise.. hahaX.. it was FUN! lol.. wen out with samantha after tt.. haha.. she's cute lahh! haha.. i almost floored while talking to her.. =DD .. she made my day! hahaX..

sorrie to cuiyi and co. cause i din go out with u guys to study and i cnt make it on mon cause my mum dun allow.. sorrie guys! >.<

2005-07-01T20:26:00.000+08:00

3 more hrs to my birthday humans! =DD .. heh..

just got back home from the councillor investiture.. =/ rgt i gt nth to sae.. haha.. so tired these few days.. i need plenty of sleep mann! haha..

i wan delta goodrem's song!!! =/ haha.. hint hint!!! >.<

stupid brother dun wan bring me out with him to watch movie.. =/ i want watch world of the worlds lahh!! haha..

i'm still holding on to wad you've promised me..
are you gonna be e 1st?

2005-06-22T20:37:00.000+08:00

happy birthday huiting! =DD

sweet seventeen to you once again.. =DD .. hope u find the one for you soon and all the best for you.. lots of happiness! =DD ..

2005-06-13T12:47:00.000+08:00

;our fairytale is over. as much as i want to end it all, i cannot bear to..

regret

if my tears could wash away deception,

then the very world would be clean,

if regret could make right my wrongs,

the rightness of the whole world would be seen.

but alas, wishes cannot make things alright

regret can only unfold,

a path i shall not take again,

a future i shant hold.

sins that cannot be undone,

follies that age and grow,

the deathly heartbeat of my lie,

is the punishment i will know.

but those whom i have sinned against,

evil plans against me vow,

with wicked pleasure, Revenge licks her lips,

two souls she has captured now.

saw this from a book-scribbles of dreams- .. found it kind of true.. hahaX..

2005-06-05T17:07:00.000+08:00

;do you know how hurt it was when i saw u walk out of my life, my door?

i'm back! n yes i do understand tt my blog is rotting.. =DD .. back from camp flag and chiangmai..

i dun lyk chiangmai.. e food aint nice.. THERE AINT SHOPPING TIME!!!-in which i totally hate- e place is kind of DIRTY.. I DUN RECOMMEND ANYONE OF U TO GO THERE!!!! tt place somehow turn me off lahhs..

camp flag..
i love camp flag.. got to know this brownie from chongfu pri, she's jeslyn.. she's streetwise and she's a GOOD talker lahhs.. keep on shooting and shooting me.. cannot tahan her.. hahax.. but somehow i love her.. =DD ..

gotta know this chicken nazira too.. she's also a helper from greenridge.. hahas.. felicia's a dog.. jiaen's a cockroach.. i'm a duckie.. !o.O duhx.. hahaX.. there's also man xin.. carolyn and surti.. din lyk surti at first.. cos she projects as kind of arrogant lahhs but after 3 days of time spent with them i lyk them more n more! i miss them! =D .. takkaire loads everyone! loves..

we also got to know caring guiders like mdm farida and miss tan.. they're so good mann.. though they always ask us to do things but they'll talk to us, joke with us, MOST IMPTLY EAT! hahas.. we slept in bunks not in tents.. heh.. it's was lyk so cold at night.. =S ..

last night spent in the camp was kind of great cause felicia, suriati, jiaen, pearl and i had a girls talk.. hahas.. some stuffs about relationships, how and approximately wen r we going to get married.. hahs..

today was e last day of camp.. kind of unwilling lahh.. but willing also in e sense that i miss my bed and if i stay there any longer i'm gonna grow FATTER! hahas.. ms soh treated us to swensens today too.. thanks ms soh! we've been lyk disturbing her always but she still treat us.. =DD .. i realise that she's also better nowadays! =DD ..

yea tt's bout it lahh.. lazy to type too.. hahas.. takkaire loads peeps..

-with love

2005-05-26T17:51:00.000+08:00

got back my report card.. was kinda HENG.. cos passed my overall by o.3 marks.. ekkk.. can die lahh.. pengs.. i gotta study hard mann.. i wanna pass all sub by end of ya.. ESP ENGLISH.. COMBINE HUMANITIES AND PHYSICS.. mann.. my totally weak areas.. bless me mann..

not going to school tmr.. gonna head overseas.. so takkaire everyone! =DD .. as i predict through wad cuiyi sae.. I'M NT GOING TO ENJOY E TRIP.. it's TIRING!!! lol.. i wanna go tokyo instead!!! CAN I? =X .. -oops-

alrighty i'm feeling feverish.. many ppl getting sick these few days.. lyk huixian and gladys.. takkaire loads kaes peeps? dun get too sick or rather DUN GET SICK AT ALL!!! >.< .. drink lotsa water!!!! heh.. get well soon.. muacks.. c ya all soon will miss everyone! hahaX..

-iloveu.yesido-

2005-05-25T16:32:00.000+08:00

i wanted to c u.. nt him..

2005-05-24T20:13:00.000+08:00

today was as expected DOOMS DAY.. got back results.. felt so lousy.. failed 4 subs -amaths,physics,combine humanities and chemistry-.. was really upset bout it.. i can really sae tt i did study for mid yr but did i not study hard enough? did i used e wrg study technique?

a-maths
got 47/10o =/ huixian helped me check it and she almost wanted to kill me.. wad the hell lohh.. i can be so damn careless until e state tt i put e equation as x instead of e initial k tt i wrote.. dammit lohh.. felt extremely stupid lahh.. who can get such a stupid careless mistake except for me..?

chemistry
48/100..lost marks on all e calculation.. did not memorise e moles calculation, %yield and so on. lost alot on tt.. freak mann..

physic..
23/100.. nice? first time in my life i've gotten such a HIGH mark mann.. urgh.. yet again careless mistake on e calculation part and didnt put in much effort on physics though cause i knew tt i was gonna fail.. bleah.. fcuk~ I'M SO TOTALLY PISSED OFF!!! no one in my class pass physics by e way.. sad case? wadeva..

combine humanities..
pass geog.. 15/30.. fail social studies.. 10/30.. it's such a pity mann.. didnt leave paragraphin.. did not answer to e question.. was nt being specific.. N I DIDNT NOE HOW TO DO DA SOURCE BASE!!!! -turn off-

so practically..
overall FAIL..
emaths.. aint tt good too..
english.. worst..
chinese.. cnt be any worst..

conclusion~ SUCH A FAILURE..

wadeva.. mid yr is over nw.. no use being stuck down here thinking bout e grades.. but instead try to improve.. eh no.. MUST improve.. i wanna pass all sub for ca2 and sa2 though i knew tt it'd be hard but i've gotta do it.. cnt slack any longer.. might be spending june holiday mugging and tanning.. =DD .. SERIOUSLY HAV GOTTA IMPROVE!

anyways.. gladys sick!! she so totally sick lohh.. hope she get well soon.. takkaire loads gurl =DD .. dun eat fried food, chocolates, potato chips.. drink more water, go see a doctor and EAT UR MEDICINE REGULARY!!! alrights.. i'm being naggy here.. good night humans..

2005-05-22T21:15:00.000+08:00

big walk was.. TIRING!!!! hahaX.. but e starting part was FUN.. hahaX.. cause siti was being a joker and making fun of certain things and stuffs.. hahaX.. but one thing tt we can b proud is WE MANAGED TO FINISH E 10KM WALK!! -faints- was so freaking hot.. hahaX.. but wadeva.. it's over.. lol.. after tt proceeded hm and went to bugis and plaza singapura.. had a little tiff with my mum at bugis.. shant sae it.. -lazy-

[[jerk]]
senario 1
an old lady was crawling on e floor.. her two sons does nt wan to look after her and were FIGHTING over it while e lady was crawling on e floor.. wad's e FCUKING-HELL with u guys mann? ur mum was e one hu work so freaking hard to make sure u ppl gt e BEST education and nw u're casting her aside nw that u've GROWN up.. get this right into your head that UR OWN BLOOD-RELATED MOTHER WAS THE ONE WHO BROUGHT YOU PPL UP NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT IT WAS.. NO MATTER HOW HEART WRENCHING U PPL ATTITUDE WAS TO HER.. she still brought u guys up n IS THIS HOW U REALLY SHOULD TREAT HER? come on lahh.. u're both adults.. treat her lyk how she brought u ppl up.. e well deserved life that she should get to enjoy after she's old..
-i know it aint my prob but just my view on certain things.. and it's obviously true..-

2005-05-21T21:53:00.000+08:00

delta goodrem
[[`Lost Without You`]]

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out

I thought I had all the answers never giving in
But baby since you've gone I admit that I was wrong

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you

How am I ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby I'm so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
You're the only thing that's on my mind

Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right no I'm not too proud to say

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away
Can't stop the tears from running down my face
Oh

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you

ilovethissong..=DD

2005-05-18T20:36:00.000+08:00

woohoo!!!!! MID-YR EXAM IS OFFICIALLY OVER!!! >.< yea yea yea!!! enuff of e daily muggings and stuidying at e eleventh hr!!! hahaX.. din went towning.. went bugis instead.. hahax.. SUPPOSED to meet at 1.. and i left e house at some time about 1.58 lahh.. thought that i was gonna be LATE.. cnt find my flat shoe.. hahaX.. stupid n brainless me went to take e high heel shoe.. bleah~ i'm lyk so ANTI-HIGH HEEL nw.. haha.. leg is so freaking pain.. bleah~

hahaX.. nxt time even if i've gt no shoes to wear i wun wear high heels out!!!! hahaX.. lesson learnt!!!!! hahaX.. okay okay.. so cuiyi yanli li xiang and i bought something each.. hahax.. kuku me spent too much!! haha.. nw i shall announce tt i'm BROKE!!! hahaX.. went to find ming zhen for ICE-CREAM.. hahaX.. she very good sia.. hahaX.. can refill! lol.. dots dots.. hahaX.. realize tt i still hav alot of things that i wanna buy.. hmms.. can i hav more money? hahaX.. y dun money fall frm e sky? hahaX.. wonder wonder..

woohoo.. there's no exam tmr.. SO.. i can zzz later!!! hahaX.. SOME ppl still have chemistry paper tmr.. lalala~ dun care.. bleah..

2005-05-16T16:30:00.000+08:00

woohoo~ it's e last paper on wed!!! >.< ..e day those NORMAL ppl would look forward to.. hahaX.. too stressed liao.. bleah.. hav enuff of studying.. studying.. studying.. studying n still STUDYING.. bleah!!!! can die of it mann.. but i'm pissed off major tt my com's screen is spoilt! freak mann just wen i need to use it it's spoilt.. bleah.. e color is so weird.. green in color.. -pullshair- nxt paper is physics.. my WORST fear paper.. -urgh- i noe nuts bout light and e calculation.. god save me pls..

i need peace at hm not ur naggings okay! i'd MORE THEN ENUFF.. so shut ur gap lohh.. -arrgh- i need a breather!!! can wed come as soon as possible? i seriously wanna go OUT!!!! hahaX.. town town anyone? or bugis? heh~

2005-05-14T18:55:00.000+08:00

happy belated birthday to my eldest brother! heh~ n happy birthday to my sec brother.. all e best in whatever u guys do n respect mummy lahh! =X .. takkaire loads.. =DD ..

2005-05-14T18:29:00.000+08:00

__x[[eeyoreworld.x_

2005-05-11T18:08:00.000+08:00

-shania twain- -*You're Still The One]]x.__

(When I first saw you, I saw love.
And the first time you touched me, I felt love.
And after
all this time, you're still the one I love.)
Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

.x.irealiseu'restillinmyheart]]`x__

2005-05-06T18:23:00.000+08:00

-pullshair- today's english paper 1 was a major demoralisation mann.. it was s tough! passing it would be difficult.. =C seriously hope that there's a miracle.. hope tt i can pass other subs.. anyways! good luck to my friends in your test.. =DD .. takkaire loads! dun fall sick! wells gonns study now.. BYES!

2005-04-29T22:14:00.000+08:00

;in a few weeks time

we're in a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything yet nothing being the same. In a few weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to the people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends. We will go back to places we came from and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before. We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even though it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday.

As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have became. You suddenly realized that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand. Who will you call first? Where are you going to work? What has everyone been up to? Who is it from school will you keep in touch with? How long before you actually start missing people bargaining in without calling or knocking? Who will get breadsticks with you at three in the morning? How long before you realize your three best friends aren't in the bed next to your room?

Then you realize how much things have changed, you realize the hardest part of schooling is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends, walking across school to eat, instant messenger, 8:00 classes, and perpetual procrastination to a world that seems so foreign to us despite the fact that we have lived in it for fourteen years.

But it is different now... We now know the meaning of true friendship. We know whom we have kept in touch with over the past year and whom we hold dearest to our hearts. We have had our hearts broken, we've fell in love, we've helped our best friends through the toughest times of their lives, something their even best friends at home couldn't be there for. We've stayed up all night just to be there for a friend. We've partied the day away, doing stupid stuff, loitering around, staying back in school and mugg, but we were always there for each other afterwards. There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know our families or friends needed us most, and there are times when we know we have made a difference.

A few weeks from now we will leave. A few weeks from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random emails and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world.

A few weeks from now from now we will arrive. A few weeks from now from now we will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will go over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end. We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls or messages have brought us laughter and tears over the past years. We will unpack old memories and dreams that have been put away for the past year.

A few weeks from now we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to changes and still keep each other close. And somehow, in someway, we will find our place between these two worlds that we hav to try hard to balance.

In a few weeks.. are you ready?

2005-04-29T19:09:00.000+08:00

;all i need is just some simple understanding from you..

i'm like so HOT-TEMPERED these few days.. cnt stand the weather.. cnt stand e pressure and stress.. i'm just an ordinary girl! -pullshair- i wanna go out.. i need a breather! i wann to be a stress-free girl! a girl who is so rich that she can go shopping everyday!!!! -lookingforwardtothatday- have been staying back as usual to study with cuiyi.. i hope that my a-maths test today is gonna b a pass.. but it's like such a slim chance to pass.. cause i do not know how to do it.. =C .. i still hav loads of stuffs to memorise.. to go through... to understand.. can i make it?!-doubts-

i just need some simple n basic understandings from you.. not naggings for the whole day long.. don't you know that you're pressurising me instead of helping me? i need your understanding.. seriously need it.. not ur doubts of me.. but i cannot seem to get it.. i need breaks sometimes too.. not sudying for the whole day without any breaks.. i'll go delirious!! -pullshair-
i need your trust too.. not doubting eveything that i do.. everything that i say.. it's totally unfair to me do u know? i doubt so.. i dont wanna compel to everything that you say.. cause i have my life too.. i dun need u to control my life at all.. -breaking down soon-

2005-04-27T20:29:00.000+08:00

;can i go back? do i hav e mere courage?

there was a time when i didnt care. i would just laugh, sing and smile all day. i was happy then. there was no issues.it was just life.and it was good. now that things have changed, each day confuses me more and more. i just want it to be back as it was before.i just want to laugh, sing and smile all day, but time doesnt go back, even as much as i want it to. I can never get those innocent days back again as hard as i may try. i try to fill my days with jokes and smiles, but it doesnt help. because inside im not smiling anymore.i have changed, and i want to go back.

2005-04-26T20:10:00.000+08:00

;free me from your grasp..

whoa.. was a realli good girl these few days.. heh~ stayed back in school to study till 6.30 wih cuiyi.. good girl rgt?! hahaX.. n i'm lyk so totally tired mann.. cnt stand it.. haX.. well.. looking back.. it seems lyk secondary school live is very short indeed.. haX.. still hav more then a yr to o's but.. time flies.. but i hope mid-yr does not come so soon!! freaking out mann! gawsh.. i noe almost nuts about emaths.. :S .. sad aint it? goota buck up mann..

n i'm so ANTI SPIDER cann?! -arrgh pls dun let our class hav anymore spiders or creepy crawlies cann? -jumps lyk a siaocharbo .. it really freak the hell out of me!! ekks!!! >.< !

jux wanna sae tt.. i'm not someone u could use as a substitute for a love u've lost.. hey.. i'm human too okays? i've my own probs n feelings.. so dun push them on me.. i'm nt the cause of it.. neither will i be or would i want to be.. so just get the freak out of my lifee.. i'll pretend not to know u wen i see u.. goodbyes for the one last time.. spare urself from e crudeness of my words.. so.. GET LOST.. i dun treasure such a person.. =DD ..

2005-04-15T22:43:00.000+08:00

-promises r meant to b broken

to YT band esp huixian: heys.. well i tink that u ppl have done a great job already.. even staying in school till as late as 10+ to perfect ur SYF song.. though it has not paid off as e judges were UNFAIR n BIASED, but to me you all would be the best band ever! the songs that you all played are FANTASTIC! like what you all have said, it's the judges who does not appreciate it.. n most importantly u all played well! =DD .. I'M TOTALLY PROUD OF YTSS WIND ORCHESTRA! rawk on~ =DD ..

fds: hey ppl.. though fds is over but our love for it aint over okays?! heh.. it's an enjoyable time training u all.. u all did a really good job today.. i'm so totally proud of you people.. i'm sad and happy about being in FDS.. sad thing is obviously FDS has ended.. but wad has to come has came.. wad has to go have got to go.. many guides cried today... make me feel lyk crying.. though it has ended, but the spirit of FDS'05 would nvr end.. i happy that even though i've neglected my studies for fancy drill, but it paid off as e cadets did a great job so.. THANK YOU EVERYONE.. =DD ..

2005-04-03T12:10:00.000+08:00

-suffocated.. i needa have a breather..

it's been lyk more then a week since i updated my blog.. well.. kinda hav many things tt happened.. more bad then good? ar.. wadeva lahh..

studies? well it's still e same.. still as shite as ever.. or worse? shld really manage my time mann.. so many things going on n lucky i'm nt e cc for sec 1 camp anymore.. less stress n more time for my studies.. -phew`- camp flag? hmm.. tt aint my prob liao.. heh.. i'll wait till after e mid-yr's over then care bout tt.. :

family? well i hate going hm nw even staying at hm is pure torture.. it's lyk so uber torturing for me to listen to my mom n eldest brother bickering e whole day all bcause of money.. it's lyk so uber irritating mann.. shouts here n there.. mann.. i hate it.. i wanna hav a hse where i could return hm to PEACEFULLY! i hope tt day is nearing.. heh.. fri? cause my bro's gonna b going for his NS on fri..

felicia.jiaen___*
hey gurls.. thx for telling me all e things so tt i could lyk clear them up wor.. n i really really appreciated all e wrds of encouragement! =DD .. love u gurls! =DD ... mUaCkx.. <3 <3

jasmine cuzzie`-
e divorce might b e best solution to all e prob it might end..it might nt.. i'm nt exactly
encouraging to u about e divorce.. but u did e rgt thing of reporting to e police wenn
he hit u.. i really hope tt u'd hav a happier life wenn u r free.. =DD .. god bless u my
dear sister..

her hubby`-
to me u're nutting but a dammit giggolo.. y? cause u're a materialistic guy who goes for
e lastest things huh? but did u work for them? NO! u didnt! u made her pay for
EVERYTHING tt u wanted.. for ur CONSTANT changing n changing of cars and
handphone.. for goodness sake.. take it as i beg u okay.. stop being so materialistic..
u've a pair of hands.. they're for u to work! nt for u to take money frm her.. she has
credit card yes i noe.. but credit cards also needs to hav money to repay e debt.. she's
nt so rich! she jux came frm a middle class family.. because of e debt tt she has to pay
cause of U.. she has to hold SEVERAL jobs.. if there's a job available for her she'd do
it.. no matter how tired she is.. as a guy.. dun u feel e least bit of guiltyness in u? even
holding e few jobs she could onli afford to pay e little amt of interest, nt e exact amt of
money tt she owes e bank..

u wanna sue her if she divorce u? sue until she goes bankrupt? wad e use mann? e
heavy debt tt she's in is ALL because of u.. u tink she wants to b in heavy debt? do u
tink she lyks it? she not onli hav to support u.. she still has to support ur n her
DAUGHTER u noe? it's difficult to bring a child up.. it requires alot of money.. n dun
u tink tt ur daughter is rather pitiful? she lacks parental love.. security from both of u..
she's at joanne's hse every wk day n onli gets to c both of u lyk during weekend?
once a week? or at times not even once for a few weeks.. do u all noe tt she'll miss
u ppl?! she's jux a six yr old child.. how much more do u wann her to go through?
she has given u alot of chances these 6 yrs hoping tt ull one day repent.. n work n to
earn money.. instead u didnt.. even if u did hold a job, u'd b fired after 2 days..
my goodness... how did u do tt? i really really wanna noe mann.. it's been 6 yrs..
6 yrs with a lot of chances is really very good to u..

u listen to ur mother's freaking preaching talks? she's influencing u!she wanns
face thus does nt wann u n her to b divorce.. take it as u're letting her go cant
u? u dun even shield her wenn ur mom hits her?! pls lahh gett ur brain thinking
cann? she has a mother.. her mother didnt even hit her how could u hit her
or rather allow ur mother to hit her?! or even worse hitting ur wife in front
of ur child pls lahh! for goodness sake she'll really hate u for tt okie?

well.. i tink it's rather a long entry liao lahh.. i'm oso lazy to write liao.. but tink here even as a perspective of a 14+yr old gurl it's oreadi so bad liao wad's more an adult hu has gone through so much? pls use ur brain to tink is wad i encourage u to..

2005-03-24T20:26:00.000+08:00

-letting go..

blech kena FORCED by cher cuiyi to update my blog.. blechx.. hahaX.. she's bad.. she jux scolded her bro chicken nehh nehh.. bad n perverted huh? =X .. hahaX.. jkjk.. blech.. hmm.. wad to sae lehh? sports day was kinda alright cause BROMO won!!! hahaX..

went to eat with cuiyi, yewei n ying hua.. hahaX.. kinda fun lahhs.. BUT.. yewei so violent!!! blech!! oh yahh!! wanna wish cecelia happy bdae too!! =DD stay happy.. hahaX.. oh ya! back to ye wei.. she's so so so so violent noe.. hit ppl hor e skin sure very fast red red liao.. =X .. heh.. after tt wenn for mark.. hahax.. was uber bored lahhs.. wana sleep sia..

n i was so uber pissed after mark cause tt freaking SOMEBODY was lyk shooting HIS particular irritating n nonsensical mouth out with arseholic stuffs.. dammits mann.. i hate ppl to sae wadeva they wann about me, creating unwated rumours.. pls lahh.. for goodness sake.. if u're so free to stick ur blardy nose into MY business y dun u mind ur OWN freaking business 1st huh? or rather go n stitch ur freaking mouth up so tt ur voice is nt heard by others.. =DD .. n i'll b e 1st to jump up with joy mann!

oh yas.. eh ting yong ar.. sorrie if i was kinda attitude to u lahh.. sorrie cause aint in a gd mood jux nw.. heh.. sorrie ar!!! chicken nehh nehh lahh joon leng.. hahaX.. crap this guy tout tmr there's sch! duhx!!! but it's lyk a fun time tricking him.. =DD .. hahaX.. he's lyk so "innocent" type cause he believed me.. duhx.. wake up lahh! hahaX.. =PpP ..

oh yahh! cuiyi nehh! sorrie ar i trick u! monday dun kill me!! =X .. hahaX..

2005-03-17T18:07:00.000+08:00

friendship would not end.. thus it'd continue forever.. it might not b mutually but it would nvr end in my heart.. when i was in pri sch i could nvr accept e transient nature of relationship.. as i believed tt everyone whom i was close to, whom i was dependant on would stay close to me n be where they'd b..

time has proved my thinking to b totally wrong.. many friends hav gone to other schools.. or left where individual dreams or lives has taken them.. me myself hav oso done so.. thus wad i really think bout life is that nothing's ever carve in a stone.. it might be difficult to imagine a time wenn u wun hav e same friends around u.. but it's possible to hav e same gang of friends ard us if we hav e mindset.. we should not blame our friends on certain things as we ourselves should think n reflect on those things whether or not we hav hurt our friends in doing some things or saying some unreasonable stuffs..

thus it's impt to recognise the present for what it is, and share our love and life without regret.. friendship is not about possession as we could never claim ownership over any one, but it's about sharing things btwn friends.. be it sharing of woe or happiness.. and despite being miles away, i'm very glad to claim tt my friends are always in my heart.. =DD ..

2005-03-15T18:04:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to my dearr huixian!!! =DD ..

happy birthday to u..
happy birthday to u..
happy birthday to huixian..
happy birthday to u..

=DD .. yoX.. huixian ar!!! happy birthday to u wor!! sorrie tt i could nt make it to e party but realli wanna hope tt u had a great day! =DD .. love yas loads..

2005-03-13T20:14:00.000+08:00

-justaninvinsiblesoultou-

headed to town today.. bought some stuffs.. n nw i'm back hm.. frigging tired n bored.. hahaX..

hey.. i've got absolutely no idea wad happen to u n ur rents but face it calmly yea? takkaire loads n no matter wad i'll b here for u.. =DD ..

2005-03-12T11:04:00.000+08:00

-*jux an xtra in urr lifee`]]x

happy birthday yong qiang! =DD ..

had a long day yday.. in e morn had CIP.. me grped with li xiang.. n our location was CCK.. we went with ah huang, yq, ah gays-man chong n eng kiat-, peng swee, zhi wei n bao cai.. hahaX.. went to eat first then we did our CIP.. me n li xiang went to e bus interchange.. some ppl were lyk so anti us lohh.. c us lyk pest liddat.. hahaX.. but there is tis particular kind soul hu gave $10 lohh.. hahaX.. rich sia!! lol.. then there is oso this joker wenn we asked him to donate he saw e no. on our box n said 1456 n wanted to buy 4D.. O.o" .. hahaX.. me n li xiang onli did till 11 nia then go to e shopping mall to walk walk liao.. hahaX.. tt mall oso not bad mahh.. got billabong's shop.. heh.. met up with e rest then tok tok suay suay got ppl come ask us donate dunno wad thing lahh then ripped us off $20 .. duhx!!!! hahaX.. wen back to sch.. did reflection n waited for caroline..

went to hav lunch at NP then was late for logistics mann!!! hahaX.. rush rush rush.. then sudd we became e deco team liao.. need to stitch so mani things.. hang it up.. blahx blahx.. then me n chui yi wenn out to buy a pack of ice.. heavy mann!!! went back cher told us logistics ppl cann g liao.. cheat us sia! so we went to look for TICKETS.. hahaX.. ms soh gave us 2.. ms goh gave us one n mdm lei gave us one.. hahaX.. yea.. then we were lyk so awkward cause we were e onli 4 hu r wearing sch related clothes.. blech~ quite fun lahh e concert jux tt e ppl sitting in front of us cnt stand us nia lahh.. hahaX.. cause we kept shouting n it's lyk high pitch kinda sounds.. hahaX..

sad thing is teachers lied to us.. sadden lohh.. made us lose so much profit lohh.. =((

i hate u
u hate me
we r a hater's family
with great big smirk n a shit from me to u..
wun u sae u HATE me too?
tis song is so damn dedicated to this particular BITCH.. i hate u damnit loads.. dun make me flare up n shout at u.. self centred bitch!oh ya~ dun influence ur ffwenx to b as BAD as U R okay?

2005-03-08T22:05:00.000+08:00

woohoo!!! 3e6 rawks mann!!! =DD.. love u guys.. mann i miss e camp.. =(( .. hehe.. woot!!! our class has finally shown some bondings.. =DD.. HAPPY HAPPY!!!

egg has become my phobia.. ekks mann.. i hate e smell of it.. but luckily my hair does nt hav e smell anymore.. phew~ had loads of pumping.. hahaX.. i hated e pumpings which we hav to do cause some inconsiderate ppl jux got rid or drop their undergarments.. mann.. it's freaking disgusting mann.. n e persn wun even go n admit to it? -arrgh- made me do pumpings till my leg swollen.. blech..

i've loads to sae.. but wad i cant sae it out.. but jux wanna sae tt i wann giv up but it aint easy.. half of me wanna giv up but e other half wanna stay.. wad shld i do? to stay or not to stay? -bites lips-

2005-02-26T17:27:00.000+08:00

ebestthingthatteverhappensistohavetheoneYOUlovetoloveYOU..=DD

mani things happen... sheesh.. does it realli take such a small thing to break a friendship of so many yrs? i dunno u go n think about it.. i've no comments on this neither do i wanna hav any comments on this..

this week has got lots of test all of which i'm not havin any 1% confidence in any of them.. did not study for anyone.. even if i did it was jux a last minute thingy.. sad to sae i fail my emaths again.. but luckily i pass my amaths.. -phew- how i hope tt my emaths would improve.. -pulls hair- find it kind of impossible but i'll try yeh? nth's impossible.. =DD ..

sec 3 camp's nearing.. looking forward to it actually.. hahaX.. ilovecamps!!!! =DD .. was havin e briefing n stuffs n we hav to bring swimming costumes but i dun wanna brin!!! hahaX.. so i shoot out a qns askin cher "can we wear SB instead of swimming costume" there and everyone was lyk turning perverted again.. -.-" ESP FYQ! hahaX.. was havin e camp item rehearsal yday.. hahaX.. tt was fun! lol.. was actually e scriptwriter de.. then become editor.. O.o" then nw i'm in dance.. lolx.. but with gladys and huixian they all it's FUN mann!! =DD ..

hmm.. i'm kinda worried for e flag mann.. hav not even bought the cloth to do it mann.. not even mentioning getting e money for e materials frm cher but nevermnds.. i'm gonna pay for it first.. hahaX.. do u tink tt we'll be able to finish it by tues?! aint gont no idea.. -prays-

damn i simply hate ppl hu sabotage me simply for e fun of it mann.. i mean if u sabo once in a while wells it's find cause it SABOTAGING.. it aint funny to go overboard mann.. i'm turned off with ppl hu goes over e limits mann.. so dun ever blame me if u happen to go over the limit and step on my tail.. u noe me.. i lose my temper easy..

2005-02-20T15:15:00.000+08:00

ilookedaroundsawafamiliarfacethatlookslike
ubutiknewforonceurnotcomingback.

duhx! m i so weird these few days? hahaX.. wadeva heck la! lol.. jux dun ask me e reasons.. hahaX.. cant sae out.. find it rather hard.. hahaX.. so jux lemmi b tt weird for a few more days while i forget it.. =DD .. *lame*

neway saw some picts tt my bro's ffwen drew.. hahaX.. anime pics.. so nice mann!! tt gurl cann b an artist oreadi.. hahaX..

haix.. nxt wk is a booorring wk.. there's tons n tons of hwk nt done n test!!!! mann plus e fact tt i'm falling sick is making me hope tt today does nt pass so quickly.. blahx.. heck lahh.. hav no confidence in all e tests mann.. it's lyk so chim esp e physics mann!!! hmm.. 3 test tmr.. wad e hell mann.. gonna fail mann.. haiX...

wadeva la.. sheesh hope every1 has a good week ahead.. =DD ..

2005-02-14T19:03:00.000+08:00

happy valentine's day peeps! hahaX.. thx for all e choco n e lunch treat.. =DD .. thx loads wor! hahaX..

fishy tang kor kor is so farnni mann!!! hahaX.. fishy fishy.. lol.. hmm.. lets c wad he owes me..
1) a super big big angbao wenn he gets married.
2) e pic of his GF.. hahaX..
3) a lonnnnggg testimonial!!! =DD .. hahaX
i love his hairstyle.. heh.. nice nice.. =DD .. looks so punkd' hahaX.. his fishy name came about in a farni way.. LOL.. farni tokin to him lahh.. hahaX.. nice guy.. mayb i shld drop him a testimonial soon.. hahaX.. punkd' mann his hairstyle.. mann i'm in love with his hairstyle.. hahaX.. DOTS DOTS!!! lol..

hmm.. tmr's gonna b a looonnnggg day man! gonna fall-in at 6.45a.m.!!!! mann.. tt'll kill me!!! i'm half dead!!! arrgh... tired out mann!!! but for 1 thing tt i'm happy with is... I DUN NEEDA PLAIT MY HAIR TMR!!! =DD .. hahaX.. but i hav to plait on fri.. sad.. lol.. hmm.. somach's groaning!!! i'm off to eat!!! -poof-

2005-02-13T12:14:00.000+08:00

__x. true eternity love? haX.. i dun tink so.. x.__

friday..
wenn for sch in e morn.. e concert shuck.. it's boringgg.. but huiting came.. hahaX.. after e concert it aint tt boring la.. cause i kept disturbing huitinf.. hahaX.. =PpP .. lol.. she took my wallet!!!! =X .. hahaX..

form teacher? needless to sae.. useless.. sec 3 camp thingy everything was done at e LAST MINUTE! mann.. e play was total disaster.. class identity nth's done about it.. cheer? nth done bout it too.. class-t? nth's done to it too.. n i was to find a manufacturer.. damn.. how could i find one hu could produce 40shirts in bout 2wks wenn e designs r NT even done yet? damn.. after assembly nadia told me hav to stay back.. got a meeting at 12.30. information given was WRG.. was supposed to meet at 12.15.. we happened to pass by there.. meeting was jux to ask hu wanns to go for e GOH for thinking day.. none of my cliques wanna go.. all walked away..

went hm changed n headed to MRT station.. damn. i hate waiting for guys cann? me n gladys waited till we cant stand it n since it was so hot we wenn to NP.. walk ard.. rotted.. n e guys were lyk actually shopping at NP.. mann.. hated it.. well.. still walked ard.. waited for felicia.. she tout we were meeting at 2 but she left hm at 2?! -.-" n we're actually meeting at 1.45.. haX..

gladys, felicia, izzac-eh i dunno how to spell- , samuel, davin n me headed to town.. wenn to cineleisure.. watched feng shui.. felicia sudd feel lyk watchin thrillers?! hahaX.. went to eat.. was late for e movie.. hahaX.. half an hr latr in fact.. lol.. amanda joined us be4 e movie n heh.. we sabotaged her to sit with davin alone.. lol..

e movie was.. SCARY.. hahaX.. n samuel n gladys wenn to scare davin n amanda.. lol.. funny sia their reaction.. lol.. gotta head back hm.. was supposed to go hse visiting.. wenn hm with samuel.. ask him lonbang me cause he'll be hitchin a taxi to yishun.. n it'll b faster to reach hm.. but damn.. wenn i reached hm.. mum doesnt wann go hse visiting liao.. she said tt it was too late.. blahx.. dun care.. shld hav taken my time..

oh ya! it's okay u did nt send me hm! =DD .. hahaX.. it's was kinda lyk a last min thing too.. so it's okay.. dun needa sae sorrie de.. =DD ..

saturday..
wenn to carol's hse today.. all my aunts were there.. even my granny.. =DD .. had steamoat n BBQ .. lol.. i ate onli e steamboat as i'm scare of e oil! lol.. but i wasnt feeling well neway.. hahaX.. jalamaia came n he was so cute mann! lol.. he's takin oranges in his hands n was lyk supposed to give it to my aunt but he did nt giv it n didnt wann to giv it.. lol. cute sia!!! hahaX.. so headed to e playgrd with him n en en.. hahaX.. it's been ages since i wenn to e playgrd! lol.. had a good luff mann!!! hahaX.. n maia wont even cry wenn he falls down.. lol.. ooohh.. his cheeks r cute! hahaX..

wenn back 1st with en en.. cause she wanna drink water.. hahaX.. went back n saw joel there!! woot! another cutie! hahaX.. he's so shy man! lol.. he gave me a hug hug n kiss! hahaX.. his hairstyle is still e same.. lol.. he'll b cuter if he spiked his hair.. =DD .. hahaX.. eileen jie jie ate liao then ask her accompany me go for a walk.. heh.. kinda a short walk la. lol. she walk such a short distance then stop liao.. lol.. cause she's tired! hahaX.. we stop at e BBall court near e MRT there.. hahaX.. we took foto with our HP.. lol.. lame la but funn.. hahaX.. tok bout some stuffs to catch up with each other.. hahaX.. she gave me a namecard.. but.. heh.. i kinda lost it liao lei.. =X .. heheX.. sorrie la! haha.. headed back n they were getting ready to hav yu sheng.. hahaX.. ate it n wenn into e hse.. lol.. played PS dead or alive n i won!!! woot! hahaX.. then carol used e internet n i asked haoming kor to help me with e mms thingy.. hahaX.. n he did nt set it well! -.-" hahaX.. nvrm.. i shall set it myself.. lol.. wanted to go for another walk de but eileen jie wann go hm liao.. lol.. so dad drove godma, godpa, haoming, eping n eileen hm n i wenn along for a ride.. hahaX.. was kindaa boringg at e hse.. lol..

was actually gonna head hm wenn mum called to sae tt aunt's cooking noodles for sec bro.. -.-" ekk.. still nt full mehx? hahaX.. cartoon.. lol.. then aunt sudd sae she wann put mask for me.. lol.. then i put it n nearly fell asleep.. heh.. tired mann.. lol.. oh did i mention tt i drank wine? hahaX.. e sad thing is it was nt red-wine.. lol.. e wine aint tt nice.. lol.. i drank more then eileen! hahaX.. nt fair.. lol.. she wanna me to drink all of hers! hahaX.. duhx..

today..
shld be doing all my hwk today.. hahaX.. lazy mann.. lol.. i dun wanna go to sch tmr..-groans- hahaX.. i'm bored.. gonna go visiting at night.. lol.. well.. shall do my hwk 1st! bye guys!

before i forget! hahaX.. wann wish everyone a happy valentines day! love yas all! hahaX.. sec bro says he's gonna go to hospital tmr to gay with e doctor! lol.. lammer.. hahaX..

2005-02-10T19:16:00.000+08:00

uh.. was so happy!!! hahaX.. dad was e one hu gave me e biggest amt of money tis yr again! hahaX.. i love him mann! lol.. so do i love my mom.. hahaX.. cause hers e sec biggest! =DD

went visitin today.. lol.. went to nephew nicolas hse.. hahaX.. he's a rojak.. hahaX love his eyes!!! hahaX.. gott a nice lashes n big round eyes... mann! i'm jealous cann? hahaX.. sociable kiddo too.. hahaX.. he's got a round round cheek too!!! hahaX.. mann i'm so crazy!! hahaX..

hmm.. wenn's baby joel n his mom coming? hahaX.. i miss him loads.. lol.. wonder wad hairstyle is he using nw? lol.. his hairstyle is ever changing one.. heh..

oh ya! did i mention tt my aunt bought e same corduroy pink pants as me n wore it at e same day as me?! hahaX.. it's was so ulber weird mann! lol..

hmm.. shall update ltr.. there's visitor liao! =DD c yas.. love all.. =DD

2005-02-08T15:00:00.000+08:00

me n shu shi!!! hahaX.. cute gurl aint she? heheX.. twist!!!

2005-02-08T14:42:00.000+08:00

yoX!!! happy new yr everyone!!!! heheX.. wanna wish all my ffwenx a very good new yrr.. enjoy urselves.. BUT.. dun over-stuff urselves!!! hahaX.. love ya all loads!!! =DD .. *muackx* hahaX..

TING YONG!!! REMEMBER MY BUBBLE GUM N CHEWING GUM OH!!! =X .. hahaX.. thankz!!! -winks-

2005-02-06T18:17:00.000+08:00

u.aint.me.u.duno.how.i.feel.

uh.. feeling so weird these few days.. hahaX.. cann b feeling real happy at tt min but grouchy nxt.. cann feel a roller coaster of feelings mann! aint noe wad's strong wit me.. getting frustrated over e slightest matters.. i dunn realli noe e reasons.. but for some i noe it but i cant sae it out.. dun believe them? nope i believe.. but aint can control myself..

some1 told me i was soo damn weird for e whole wk..! my gawsh.. reflection reflection!! hahaX.. sorrie but i'll try to change but aint noe wenn i could do it cause feel so weird these few days.. mayb cause of e monthly visit? -shrug- i dunno larhx..

i've got two blueblacks on my knees all thankx too foo yong qiang.. hahaX.. i've got my rod pics all thx to dorothea.. hahaX.. it's lyk so long ago mann! hahaX.. but thx dearr! =DD .. thx daddy for e birdnest!!! hehe.. love yas loads!!! -huggies-

uh i've got 3 test tmr.. panic panic!!! hahaX..hav not study for e chem test tmr.. gawsh got a feeling i'll fail mann!!! hahaX.. i'm sad cause i've failed my 1st eng test! -pouts- i've failed by 1 mark mann! it's lyk so oh not fair!!! -pouts pouts-

2005-02-02T21:43:00.000+08:00

gLaMoUr pWeNcEsS.. __x.[[there's time for departure even wenn there is no certain place to go i'm sorriee]].x__

my dear gurls!!! u all did a good job today! keep up e good work!!! =DD ..

2005-01-30T15:19:00.000+08:00

damn mann! dunnoe wad e freaking hell happened to my computer today mann! e wireless connection to e internet was DOWN! keep kena disconnected man.. then my computer de speaker oso SPOIL liao! wa lau! wad e hell is tis mann! fuck la! i'm seriously pissed of.. MAJOR!!! damn.. everything aint going well for me tis wk!!

nevertheless wanna wish my dear ffwen.. YANLI!!! HAPPY BITHDAY TO U WOR!! =DD .. takkaire n hope everything goes well for u worx!!! =DD ..

2005-01-29T13:34:00.000+08:00

aintgonnabelieveinanyfairytaleanymore

my gawsh!! my leg is lyk so painful nw!! hahaX.. was uber tired yday!! stood frm 1.30-10.30 yday.. hahaX.. onli hab a few mins of rest time n of course i took those rest time to SIT!!! hahaX.. had fancy drill in e afternoon about 1.30-4.05 n kinda tiring for e gurls.. their faces were red mann.. poor thing.. 2 of them cried too.. haix.. wad to do? it's part n parcel of thing.. was thinkin of meeting them on mon n oso to train them on tues to make them get use to e trainings..

after tt we had e PTR thingy.. n it was FUN!!! hahaX.. but tiring la.. heheX.. ran up n down here n there so many times.. could hav ran 10km or more!!! hahaX.. we had to serve e parents food, sell e hotdog buns, sell e kachang puteh.. take drinks to e classes.. then after e parents had clear e classes we hav to pack e class back to e original place.. mann! guides is so multi-purpose huh? hahaX.. but luckily had e help of npcc n councellors bahx.. hahaX.. then wen everything wad finished wenn hm lo.. hahaX.. wad else?! lol.. lazy to elaborate oso la.. hahaX.. tired mann..

oh ya! not forgetting to thank huiting for clearing some things for me.. =DD thx! hehe..

many things had happen these few days.. thank u for being there for me.. =DD ..

2005-01-15T13:09:00.000+08:00

arrgh! i hate e person hu keeps stealing my shoe!!!!! damn u mann.. it's so irritating mann! if u simply tink it's funny or wad then get e hell straight mann! IT AINT FUNNY AT ALL! damn u! stop stealing la! if u aint got money or no shoe or wadeva shit! tt's ur own business mann! i simply hate ppl hu steals so getta hell outta my life mann! wanna steal cann but dun u steal mine! n for goodness sake IT'S MINE, MY SHOE! not urs! bummer.. i hate u mann!

these few days were lyk worse mann! going hm at bout eight everyday sleeping at bout 1am everyday! mann i'm lyk so tired out!!! hahaX.. there's gonna be yet another meeting for e fancy drill thing.. i hope it all goes well!! =DD ..

i cant stand teachers hu r so biased.. i cant stand teachers hu r jux being so ignorant.. i cant stand teachers hu lies.. i cant stand teacher's hu said tt i did not copy notes, did not do my hwk, showed attitude face WHEN I DID NOT! GIMME A BREAK CANN U? -turned off- if u said tt i did not copy e notes then look at my papers n i'm sure u'd b so damn embarrassed tt i DID copy..

NATASHA BEDINGFIELD LYRICS

Unwritten

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

2005-01-10T19:28:00.000+08:00

happy birthday li xiang!!!
happy birthday to u..
happy birthday to u..
happy birthday lixiang..
happy birthday to u!!!
hahaX.. i noe my singing sarks la.. hahaX.. but still mux wish u la.. hahaX.. takkaire..

hahaX.. i dye my hair!.. hahaX.. lyk real ar! lol.. li xiang today scare ppl one! haha.. after morning assembly.. want to go back to klass tt time she kinda lyk shouted.. "taolian u dye hair ar?" then cuiyi oso follow!.. hahaX.. dots! .. then there's cher there lehx!!! hahaX... but hu cares cos i nvr dye oso.. lalala~

there's lyk loads of hwk today mann! almost all sub hab! wad e hell! n i've not done a single one?! hahaX..

why is the water dripping? HAHA.. lame la.. today in sch kinda fun la.. hahaX..

2005-01-08T20:24:00.000+08:00

__it might be a fake smile on me, it might not be a fake smile one me, which is it, u decide__

whoa.. seems lyk time passes vv fast huh?! it's lyk a blink of the eye n a week of schooling has passed.. n it has be rather hectic mann! going to sch in e morning waking up so early n goin back hm lyk about 6 to 7plus?! mann.. i needa break mann! stressed out.. -runs.away- well outta 5 days 4 days i went hm lyk bout 7 or reaching n damn tired i was my mum was lyk "switching her radio none stop" if tis goes on i'll go CRAZY mann!!-bummer-

well almost ~~broke down~~ yday la.. in front of caroline.. but LUCKILY!!!! she aint lookin at my direction.. -phew- hahaX.. been feeling kinda moody la.. hahaX.. SOME shld noe y.. lol.. but MOST dunch.. hahaX.. n yea!!! huiting's mayb coming back to ytss nxt wk!! hahaX.. i miss her so much!! hahaX.. but tt goes for all my seniors la.. hahaX.. i've got my new yr resolution but i'm lazy to type it down! hahaX..

oh ya! btw.. tis blog doesnt symbolise anithin yea? i lyk it for it's design but it aint mean tt i'm in love with anyone! -.-" hahaX..

____________
am i supposed to trust wadeva u sae?! u told me one thing but u did another thing.. i might be used to it.. but hey i'm a human too.. i've my own feelings rgt? dun treat me as though i'm invincible.. i did not treat u lyk tt cos i hav my coinscience too.. i aint a beast! i'm not saying tt u're one.. but u change realli fast!! u've become someone whom i've totally hav no understanding of.. u seem lyk a stranger to me nw.. i aint sure if i could trust u again..-bummer-

2004-12-31T21:16:00.000+08:00

reflection timeeee..
there's been ups n down this yr*which yr dunch?!* learnt many lessons.. know more ffwenx be it in msn one or b it in school or in my social life.. n i got closer to my friends such as gladys, felicia, cuiyi, huixian, samantha, denise.. i gotta know them better this yr then in sec1.. i noe how to cherish my ffwenx.. one yr is passing us so fast mann.. hahaX.. n my social life seems much more enjoyable with my ffwenx..

my friendship with felicia had turned sour in e beginning of the yr cos we're kinda "fighting" over some childish stuffs.. but we're best ffwenx nw aint we? -winkx- we tok to each other n stuffs n things r getting back to normal i guess.. lyk wad we r in e starting of sec1 life.. but most imptly.. we learnt not to tink so childish-ly.. hahaX.. same goes for cuiyi n me.. cos there's one pt of the yr she was angry with me.. but being e ignorant me i didnt noe la until i tok to her.. hahaX.. n we tok it out and we r fine nw too! well.. let's hope there aint any bickers within my peeps..

school? it hasnt been easy cos tis yr was streaming yr aint it? hahaX.. but thankful to gladys, huixian, samantha, peixuan and anni for beind nice company to "de-stress".. haha.. i really have lots of fun with u gurls.. we sat through lessons together, talk in klass together n most imptly! tok back to chers together.. =X .. though huixian, gladys n samantha n i r in the same klass nxt yr but i'll still miss peixuan-AH MA!!!- and anni cos they've been realli great in helping me!! n anni thankx for e help during DNT!-muackx-
gladys, cuiyi, huixian, felicia, samantha and denise r the gest buds! hahaX.. we go to canteen together, have fun together.. went out together.. shared problems n gossips together.. n oso not forgetting my dearr caroline hu i could share my problems with..
my dearr angelin hu has been there for been through hard times.. i tink u noe wad i mean la.. hahaX.. what cann i still ask for with these ppl in my school life mann?!

guides.. well.. it was enjoyable with my seniors n juniors around but most importantly ffwenx in e sec 2 squad-or rather sec 3- tis yr.. especially angelin, caroline, denise, felicia, samantha, jia yan.. hehe.. they've been really great ffwenx.. hahaX.. a fun co. to b with.. n e 1st half of e yr havin e sec 4 seniors was memorable.. hahaX.. with nice ppl lyk ying ying who gives advices n encouragement to me, hu nvr got angry with me.. huiting though she hardly goes to guides but she's been an interesting person to lame with.. hahaX.. oso very kind n helpful.. =DD .. dorothea whose manito was ME!!! anyone's jealous?! hahaX.. she's one great person too.. hehe.. funny n caring!! meiyi, meiqi, xinyi, manju-did i get it rgt-, belinda-pinch pinch-, jia khee, joanne, n e rest of sec 4 guides thank for guiding me along.. all the best to u ppl!!! i'm sure ur results would b good.. nahx.. not good.. shld b GREAT! -smilex-

i'm thankful to those hu has accompanied through tis yr n wen i was down, ppl lyk.. cuiyi, felicia, gladys, caroline, huixian, angelin, tingyong, joel, yong qiang, janet, denise, firdaus, haikel, joanne, kristin, mei qi, ming zhen n many many more la! hahaX.. really really thankful to u guys n gurls.. hahaX.. n i'll remember all ur advices n warnings la.. hahaX.. if i'd bugged u more then once regarding my probs then i'm sorrie for bugging u n i'm thankful for ur advices! =DD .. i cant live without u guys mann! hahaX..

ending off..
HAPPY NEW YR PEEPS N MY FAMILY!!! I LUV U PPL!!! -m.u.a.c.k.x.-

2004-12-31T18:18:00.000+08:00

went out to eat with daddy yeaterday to celebrate his birthday!!! =DD .. went with my rents, my eldest bro n his girlffwen n aunt.. my sec bro was so pitiful.. cos he aint gotta go.. hahaX.. had a nice dinner.. n well kinda lyk havin e whole family eating togather though sec bro wasnt there.. heh.. long time since we had a meal together..

well.. e tsunami was really deadly mann.. so many ppl had died because of it mann.. n it's lyk e figure is increasing!!! =S .. i seriously hope that e rest of the missing ppl could b found ALIVE.. n those tt could not b contacted r well n back in their own country n there would not be any disease spreading cos it'd cause more deaths..

we r really lucky cos we r surrounded by e few countries or our country would b so badly hit.. well.. how i wish tt i could go n help them.. we aint know e fear of it unless we r there n mayb lyk wad cuiyi said in her blog.. mother nature's getting back at us for using so much of her resources without letting them get renewed..
god bless e world..

-brr- it's gettin kinda cold these days huh? but wadeva.. cos today's the last day of 2004 so lets enjoy today huh?! -beams-

but anyway.. must wish all of u peeps.. HAPPY NEW YR eve!!! hahaxXx.. n schools reopeing soon!!! n my hwk is lyk.. a quarter or a third done? =X .. hehe.. good luck to me mann.. lol.. n i wonder hu's gonna b our klass form teacher.. hahaX..

bye!-muackx-

2004-12-28T14:38:00.000+08:00

+__Humans are emotional creatures but after a period of time, everything will just be a memory of what had taken place__*

chocolate?! no thx!!!! hahaX.. i had enuff of chocolate mann!!!

yday..
went for guides in e morning.. me n caroline went late as we had smth on.. wen we reached ms soh n e rest of our squad were havin reflection in e guide rm.. had it for kinda long la.. then had two games of captain's ball.. n sat on e second level n disturbed our mdm mdm.. hahaX.. cos e bb were downstairs.. hahaX.. therefore.. hehe.. tempted us to do smth.. heh.. shant sae la.. ltr she'll embarrassed...

after guides wento with joanne n e-ping sista.. hahaX.. had fun la.. took her to far east n asked her to buy a shirt n a pink skirt but in e end she die die also dun want to buy the skirt! hahaX.. so she bought e shirt n we went to look for e high heels that she wants to buy.. n look ard i saw one that i really lyk!!! hahaX.. but didnt buy la.. lol.. cos i'm lazy to try.. hahaX.. n most importantly.. I'M BROKE BIG TIME! hahaX.. instead of looking for her heels we looked for watches instead.. -.-" so bought e watch.. joanne got her ffwenx a birthday present.. n finally! we found e right heels.. hahaX.. it's kinda cute looking one.. not those mature mature type.. heheX.. but it's nice though.. =DD ..

e-ping sista then came to e topic of treating us to ice-cream! hehe.. n i chosed Häagen-Dazs.. heh.. cos i missed e waffle!!! =DD .. so i ordered waffle attraction without wipped cream, chocolate sauce and midnight cookie-chocolate-.. joanne ordered chocolate fudge cake and brownie delight.. did u guys noticed smth?! hahaX.. all of then has chocolate! -.-

-brownie delight came first-
joanne: hhmm.. it's heavenly...
-waffle attraction came nxt-
me: yea! my waffle's here!!-laughs-
-chocolate fudge cake came last-
e-ping sista: gawsh.. this fudge cake aint gonna b mine..
joanne: it's mine.. HAHA..
-eat n eat for a while-
joanne: gawsh.. can anyone help me eat tis brownie delght n fudge cake?!
me n e-ping: -looks at each other-
me: haha.. who's the one who says chocolate is heavenly huh?
joanne: well.. strating it was wad.. but the more of e brownie i ate e more i find it disgusting..
-finished eating-
joanne: i swear i'm gonna be sick of chocolate for a long time..
me: well.. aint that good.. your mum would b happy cos she doesnt have to buy so many chocolate for u..
joanne: ya hor! hahaX..

me n joanne took a different train as e-ping.. so went our different ways and of course not forgetting to say thanks to e-ping for e treat..-smiles-

today..
was uberly bored today.. was supposed to go swimming but i cant go.. n e gym is not open tt early so me n joanne cancelled our plan.. n she asked to me go to k box but i'm lazy!!! n tired..-sleepy head- so slept till kinda late la.. hahaX..

watched tv n so on then online came across a love story.. kinda sad one la.. but it says smth about telling the one you love your feelings in case the person might not be with you the next second.. and treasuring the one you love.. haX.. tis kinda reminds me of smth.. well.. shant say anymore.. enjoy.. =DD ..

yukiko..
The first time for a guy to approach woman during his life, be it a senseless dare or pure admiration, somehow or another, an ounce of energy will gradually flow in you until it accumulates and pass a climax, then a sudden urge of doing silly things to know her happens. Before you know it, everything happens in a flash, and when you think back, you wondered how on earth did you manage to do or say something as retard.

I am in similar hypothetical situation.
I observed her since two days and for some diabolical reasons, something stuck me, whispering to me in telepathy mode that I have to know her. Must have one of Cupid's bow shot went haywire and got into me - my eyes never left her. She is petite and small, with long flawless hair. Her features were well defined - especially her eyes that captured my soul in the first wink I caught from her. She is not those drop-dead gorgeous model's style, but when she smiles and her two dimples creases into her cheeks deeply, nothing on earth is sweeter than her. Her charisma and the air that saturates around her is angelic and when I am near her, to close for comfort (it's simply stressing), she smelled like a walking conditioner.

I have to know her, if I want this piece of dream to turn into reality. If it were something of my forte, it would have been as simple as snapping my fingers, but I had never approached a girl before. What do you expect from someone who had studied in an all guys school since Primary One and not even having a single sister at home? Female of similar age don't exist in my environment since I graduated from kindergarten, which was like years ago?

Today is the last day of school, which means starting from tomorrow, two months worth of vacation began. Then, my chances of seeing her will be zero because she doesn't even stay near me; she stayed near my good friend, Jerry, in a private estate. Fate has enabled us to meet because two days back, because I have been going to Jerry's house and I would only see her at the bus stop. So everything needs to be done today!

She is sitting in front of me and my mind is virtually blank, thinking of a good way to start a decent conversation with her. Then, the bus appeared into sight and my set my pulse racing - I am losing my time resources! The bus slowed down to a gradually stop and we both board it. I chose a seat near the back and sat down, watching her walked passed me and sat behind. A wave of uneasiness washed over me as I could even sense her gaze on my back. There was an internal war waging inside me as I am fighting against trying to walk over to introduce myself and to remain rational. Finally our stop came and we got down. She walked at a quickened pace, reckoning that I am stalking her
behind. Every seconds is slipping passed me and beads of sweats broke out at strategic part of my forehead. I can't let this final chance go by!

She went through the gate of the estate by now and my mind is in state of desperation. Watching her gradually moving towards her block is unimaginable. Come on Cloud you could do it! OR you are gonna lose this chance forever!?

A surge of false strength filled my veins as I ran towards her. When I came arm length distance from her, I delivered a light tap onto her shoulder. She turned around, as if expecting all that would happen and gave me a curious look.

cloud: Hi, I was...was wondering if I...I...could get to know you and be your friend??

All the energy in me had expanded in this stuttering sentence I blurted. My face is beginning to blush red with shyness as I waited for any respond. She smiled faintly and gosh, that nearly sweep me off my feet. Five minutes went by and everything happened as smoothly as any successful mission. We exchanged numbers and I learned that she is not exactly local; she is a half Japanese who came to Singapore to study. Her name is Yukiko, which means snow in Japanese, like her unblemished skin, fair and silky-like.

Then she said she had to leave and with a dumb smile reciprocating her sweet ones, we parted. I looked back at her for one final time, before running and yelling at the top of my voice that I made it. Did I mention knocking onto the lamppost and actually apologized to it?

It was two months since I knew her and we have always talk online. Our relation are like good friends now. Jerry told me to go after her, but my heart doesn't want to sacrifice this stable friendship for now. Maybe because I had never had a girlfriend before and always have this phobia of relationship not lasting behind my head.

I came home quite late and logging onto IRC and yes! She is there. Before I could catch my breathe for walking back home from the bus stop, she sent me a message.

yukiko:Cloud, so late still never sleep ar?

I heard my mum's voice lurking in the background, commanding me to finish the leftover food in the kitchen. If my mum knew that I ate in school already, I guess she is gonna skin me alive.

cloud: Just came back from school, you?
yukiko:I waited for you to come online.

Waited for me? Sometimes girls can be such cute little thing. Words like these seemed like healing wards for the day fatigue. Jerry said that guys must be sweet talkers and romantic, well. I am none of the above. But when he stressed his point, I tried learning to be one.

cloud:Why leh? Miss me ar? HAHAHAHA!

I know the laughter was just to cover my embarrassment, but hey, that's a good attempt.

yukiko:Cloud, I am moody today.
cloud:Really? What happen?
yukiko:My good friend just broke up with her boyfriend today.

Somehow girls are very affected over things happening to their friends in matters of love. Guys would normally tell them to move on with their life and stuff, whereas they would share their pain and sorrow or cry with them. Maybe that's why girls always tell one another about their personal problem?

cloud:Well.it's getting common isn't it? Relationship are breaking up every now and then.
yukiko:I seen them come together and they have been together for 3 months
plus. so long.
cloud:Three months and you called that long? It's not even longer than a semester. Maybe people involved will find it longer than it seemed to be. I am a counsellor in school and people approach me for all kind of interpersonal relation problem. Maybe that's why I have another point of view? But when it comes to myself, I am such a dickhead.
If they were meant to be together well. they will be together right? Sometimes not being together is a good thing. Couples not suited for each other being force to be together is a painful thing.

yukiko:Fate?
cloud:Fate to me is like a legend; everyone talks about it, rant about it, thank God about it, but when it comes to relation, I have never gotten myself a girlfriend, so I know nuts about it. Err. you could say that?
yukiko:Then are we fated to know each other. Cloud?

I always hated it whenever girls corner me with questions that neither YES nor NO is the right answer. Just when I am stuck with her questions, my mum with her pissed off face come knocking at my door, demanded that I finish the food left for me.

cloud:Hey, I have go off for now to eat supper. answer you another time.Come on. gif me a smile ok? I treat you movie next time.
yukiko:You say wan ar. . I see you tomorrow ok?

Well, it seemed that the treating trick always works. Hey. it means that I can make use of this excuse to catch a movie with her! I am such a fast learner.

cloud:Ok! bye bye!

The next thing I see is the 'DISCONNECT' word on my computer. Grinning from ear to ear,I skip my way to the kitchen.

mom:Cloud! You are finally here!

i looked at the clock and it says 10 pm. No, I am not late, rather I am pretty early using IRC entering our usual chat room.

yukiko:Cloud, my good friend tried to patch back with her bf today. but he ignore her.

cloud:Well. guys of these days are not looking for serious relation. People have to get to know and go through more relation before they could realise that who is the right one for them what.

yukiko:She cried you know. so poor thing. then that guy said that he likes another girl.

A Chinese proverb came into my mind - Tian ya he chu wu fang cao.
Why cry wasted tears over a relation that was never meant to be yours in the first place?

cloud:Human, even though are emotional creatures, after a period of time, everything will just be a memory of what had taken place.
yukiko:Yah I told her to move on with her life, but she loved him so much and she couldn't believe that he like someone else. if I am her, I will also dunno what the do.

cloud:Don't know what to do? Make yourself happy instead of lingering in this sorrowful event? Sometimes I really wonder if woman are that dumb? Or is it love that is making woman a vulnerable creature? And what makes you think THAT it is love? Woman, in their first love, love their lovers, in others, they loved love.

yukiko:Really?
cloud:All woman loves romance. It is like salt and sugar in cooking.
Without it, whatever relation will be bland.
yukiko:What about you Cloud?
cloud:Me? How come the topic is about me now?

I always avoid questions whenever it comes to me in revealing my inner self. It is like exposing yourself to danger through speaking. People, whom you least expected it, betray the trust you given to them and you will have to go through this series of utter disappointment and sadness. Ok I admit. I watch TOO much TV.

cloud:Me? What about me?
yukiko:What if something like that happens to you?
cloud:Er. it won't lar. I don't even have a gf.
yukiko:Why? Go get one? y? something is wrong?

Ok baby, this would be the catalysis to explode my innermost views again.

cloud:I don't want to get a gf for the SAKE of getting one. its meaningless don't you think? Relation nowadays are going nowhere because people just want to be in a relation. They are afraid to be alone - they WANT someone to walk by them. Be it emotionally, sexually or physically. I don't mind being alone - I like it! Until
maybe when the special one comes along, I will try my best to be with her, doing stuff together and most importantly, grow together.

There was an unaccustomed silence after I type that paragraph. My fingers speed through the keyboard and finally stop at the last word. Oh @$$@! Have I just ruined my good impression? I discern its time to celebrate with Jerry about my first failure.

yukiko:You are right Cloud.

Hooray!! I could see my happiness on the computer screen, signalling to my victory of words.

yukiko:I want to stay single, until the special one comes along too.

Oh wait, how could cute girls like her possibly stay single? Guys will try all sorts of ways to get her and she would finally succumb to one. She is too cute to stay single.

yukiko:You make me blushed. no I am not cute.

She is such a poor liar. When you praise a girl pretty, they would tell you they look ugly. When you say that they look like toilet, he retaliate and bites back, saying you look worst. such is mentality of a woman.

yukiko:I girl mah, that why will also be like that.

From a close defeated battle, I have eventually emerge the winner as I continue to chat with her for the next two hours. Somehow, during these periods of knowing her, I had never asked about the background of her family or sort, but we talk everything else. I loved to chat with her as she is way so different from all the other girls - she is VERY naïve and this creates an impulse for me
to protect her, to guide her along. She showed me the real innocence of a young lady, untainted and pure. I love the way she is, naturally cute and THIS is the reasons that stop me from jioing her - I can't take advantage of her innocence right?

yukiko:Cloud. I have to go already. its getting late.
cloud:I have to leave too.Oh yeah. its almost 12 and my Cinderella has to leave. HAHAHAHA!

Why is it that I must laugh every time I attempt a MUSHY statement? A lousy cover for my embarrassment

yukiko:Cloud. you say the other time you wanna treat me movie right?

Ok, my hypnotic statement has hinted her! YEAH!

yukiko:Lets watch movie together tomorrow ok?'
clouds: Er. ok!'

My mind was cheering and screaming in rejoice. All hail cupid for the golden opportunity!
yukiko:Ok. Cloud you log off first, I don't want you to see me go.
clouds:Aww.ok I count to 3 and leave.

I can't believe I am doing this SILLY business.
clouds:3.2.1.gone!

I couldn't get to sleep on that day, totally excited about tomorrow's event. Going out with a girl? I had never been out with one before! Praying at my bedside sincerely that nothing will crewed up on that day.

------------------------------------------------
It was 8.40 pm and I was at Starbucks (20 minutes before appointment point) - Plaza Singapura, the location we suppose to meet. It is not polite to be late for a date for the first time anyway. Slipping my favourite ice blended mocha, I waited. I was daydreaming about today's soccer match I played and started
pondering over life issues and soccer; Life is like soccer. you never know when you gonna get hit by the ball in your face. What load of crap!

As I was trying to entertain myself to relieve some amount of tension in me, I sense her presence - the smell, I can never forget. I looked up and saw her smiling and making her way towards me. She is simply stunning and like a critical hit, I was stoned watching her coming. White spaghetti straps top with jean skirts. Woah, I simply love girls wearing skirts. It makes them looked.
more. erm. more female.

yukiko:Sorry I am late.
clouds:Nah, its Ok. I am just early myself.
yukiko:So what movie are we watching?
clouds:It's ok, we will check it out later, anyway what matter most is
who I am watching with, not the show.

She blushed and I nearly died saying that sentence. Hey. I am pro huh? HAHAHA!
Smiling at my flippant words, I commented on how gorgeous she looked today. I guess it was just something to start conversation, but hey. I really meant what I said. She looked really shy and reply with a soft thanks. I bought another ice-blended mocha for her as she said she wanted the same.

We chatted for a while - Jerry told me to soften her up with the conversation as she will most likely be as tense as I am. Gradually, she gain comfort from my company and from chatting, it grew some laughter in it. Actually at times (lucky thing it wasn't frequent), I did not understand what she was saying. Her Japanese accent with little tint of singlish that comes along with it, was
weird but comprehendible. Nevertheless, she looked so cute, especially when she smiled that I have this burning urge to pinch her cheek.

After finishing our drinks, we made our way to the Cinema, after we decide and made purchase for Shallow Hal. It was comedy show and Jerry said that comedies is good way to remember a first date. At least she won't be crying while watching a sad movie and I had to cheer her up later, although horror show seemed like a whole lot better option to me. Hiak!

The movie is talking about Hal Larsen, the ultimate shallow guy. He judged woman by appearance and in the end he got hypnotize by this guy who made him sees woman by their character instead of physical beauty. Rosemary, the lead actress came into the picture and he fell in love with her, without realizing that she is not what he thinks she looked like.

The story is a mixture of hearts, laughs and emotions and at the end of the show, I could see watery tears rimming around Yukiko's eyes. What the hell? Well. at the very least she understand the story, which was my first fear. We walked out of the Cinema and out of Plaza Singapura, while I tried to reassure her that the world was still spinning and it was only a show.

yukiko:Cloud. do you think there are people like that?
Cloud:Sure. of course. that is the real world.
yukiko:Why must guys like pretty girls?'

I was momentarily taken aback by a sudden question. I asked myself and the answer that came up doesn't seemed too good.

Cloud:Because human like to see pretty things? I mean you would like to see good looking guys too right?
yukiko:But good-looking guys don't give me security. That's why I don't like good-looking guys.

My heart screamed another point of victory; I am not good looking - I am decent looking, the second closest to handsome. Even though she never really answered my question, but I love her reply.

yukiko:What about you Cloud? Do you like pretty girls too?'

THIS KIND of question AGAIN? If I said yes, I will appear damn
shallow. If I say no I am lying to myself. Gawd! I need the best of both world answer.

cloud:Me?

I was trying to buy time as she nodded her head almost immediately.

cloud:Well. I think I prefer. cute girls like. you!

My system was undergoing this contained stress and it is making me go nuts every time she throws questions like these to stumble me. She blushed and tapped my head lightly. Oh man, I think I am not gonna wash my hair today.

yukiko:Don't be silly.

I know that sentence was just to cover her embarrassment, just like me laughing whenever I made mushy remarks. I decided to sent her home by bus as I think this is the very least what a guy should do. We boarded the bus, the same bus 171 where we always take - We recognized the bus driver.

driver:Boy ar. not bad ar. get to know her liao.last time you both dunno each other wan right?

It was the bus driver and I nodded in faintly agreement with him and smiled my way through, while she giggled uncontrollably. We choose a seat at the far back and sat down.

cloud:This driver is always very chatty, don't bother about him. I always seen him talking to other passengers.

She shaped a smile from her lips.
Suddenly, she took the bus tickets I was holding.

yukiko:Look away first!

I did as I was told and after five minutes she hold my waist and put her fist onto my hands. Am I in heaven?

yukiko:I have nothing to give you, so I made this two heart myself. One for you, one for me.

I looked at her origami made from bus tickets and wondered whether I should do something similar. I appreciate her effort though - I thanked her.

Finally her stop arrived and she had to align. We got down and I insisted in sending her all the way till her block.

yukiko:It's ok. It's not good if I am being seen by my neighbours with a guy so late at night you know.

I nodded and finally relented. Well, every date has to part eventually right?
I watched her fade into her estate and until I caught zero glimpse of her.
I am in LOVE with TODAY.
--------------------------------------------------
For the next few months, we chatted everyday and each time I felt that I am slipping into this pit of angelic darkness called love. she told me she couldn't go out very often as her guardian is very strict - finally she is talking more about herself. Her parents are overseas working, leaving her all alone, which contribute reasons for her character. I know she longs for my company like I longs for hers. We are like one in-separate-able pair of best friend. Whatever problems she has, she consulted me and I will be there to give my expertise advice. Maybe this is what true love is, someone to be there regardless of whether you two are together - someone to guide, shield and depend. Jerry, the woman's men, said that I am wasting too much time on a single girl. I should have just pop the question and leave the thinking to her, after all life is too short to spend on one person. But the urge to reveal my feeling hasn't reached to such stage for desperation yet. Maybe next time I would, but when is the right time?

yukiko:Cloud. I have something to ask you.
yukiko:What do you think of me?

Oh no, not again?
Oh ^!&#, peer evaluating time! Even though I speak easily to
myself, when it comes to expressing to HER, I am score an F9 for it.

cloud:Cute? And you are a very good friend of mine.
yukiko:That's all?

What do you mean that's all? Oh dear, I have to say something that she wants to hear or forever I will be condemn in her eyes. Noooooooo...
I decide to avoid the question using my avoidance tactics.

cloud:There is a lot of things in my heart that I feel about you, but in this short span of time, I can't express it out. But regardless of what is it, I want to let you know that treasure you a lot.

Phew, lucky thing I manage to come out with this marvellous sentence. It seemed that after the episode of knowing her, I am beginning to learn the trades of using words. I didn't know how to reply her smile and decide to leave it until she reply me with something else. Five minutes went by and I am starting ponder whether I should reply anything.

yukiko:Cloud. can we meet for dinner tomorrow?

Another date! Yeah I screamed literally at my computer scream as she is able to go out once more, with me.

cloud:Sure! What about your guardian? She allows you to go out?
yukiko:Yes, she allow me to go out tomorrow
cloud:Ok. we meet at Mac at Parklane ok?
yukiko:ok
cloud:Ok I have to go offline now. remember don't be so early ok?. I feel bad if you have to wait for me.

I smiled at her consideration for me.
Before I could reply with anything, her nick has quit IRC. Guess that I have to wait for tomorrow to see her again.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I arrived early as usual, this time about 15 minutes earlier, waiting for her outside Macdonald patently. Reckoning about her sudden wanting to meet me suggested motives, that's what TV drama always show. Maybe she needed a large sum of money, borrow from me and then disappear into thin air. hiak. the effect of TOO much TV. again.

As I was busy throwing impossible scenarios into the pictures to cease my tension, she stood in front of me. As I looked up, I noticed her face is getting fairer and whiter to the extend of being pale, but nevertheless her sparkling eyes never loses its glow. Must be the effect of those skin whitening Japanese beauty product.

yukiko:Waited long?'
cloud:Only about 5 minutes.
My first lie I made to her. But it was for good cause.
We went into Mac and sat near the window seats, where we could look out towards the roadside.

cloud:What do you want, I buy for you
yukiko:You eat anything, I eat anything.
I went to buy for her and decide upon Mac Nuggets Meal as she is a small eater. Less than an instant, 2 packets of large fries, 2 large coke and two boxes of 6-pieces nugget was on the tray as I carried them. Somehow, I noticed that she was looking at me with such mesmerizing effect that I nearly unbalanced myself.

yukiko:Cloud. why are you so good to me?
cloud:Good? What you mean good? You mean you want me to trick you to bed and after that meet about for sessions like this? Thinking back, only arseholic guys would do that and being a good guy, I shall uphold my reputation.
yukiko:What you mean?
yukiko:Before those day when you wanted to know me, I was actually getting a little irritated when you stalked me.'
cloud:Oh really?. I must have seen like a pervert or something to you right?.'

She giggled out of a sudden and I wondered what she meant.

yukiko:But then again. till now, I realize that you are different from other guys that wanted to know me.'

What? There are other idiots doing the same thing too? Oh well, I am NOT surprised, considering her lovable nature and attractiveness.
yukiko:You are my best friend and i appreciated it. and we must be fated so that will know each other right?

Fate again. Why must woman always bring up the topic of fate everytime when it comes to relation of any kind? I nodded my head a little. She seemed a little solemn today and I reckoned that if there is anything I could give in to her, I should give in. I tried to cheer her up a little as the topic she started were on the emotional side. I spoke some joke and she giggled a little as we continue to our meals. Sometimes I feel that she is the only person in the world that appreciate what I am doing - be it stupid, silly, cute, dumb or whatever $@%!. It is not much, but she always responded.

We finished our meals and were playing with our straws like little kids. As we had our little 'fighting', I looked into her eyes and her eyes seemed to tell me that she may have gone through a lot of in during these period. I don't know what was the problem may be, but all my mind was telling me was to make her happy - simple and sincere.

yukiko:Can we go somewhere where I could see the sea?

We took a taxi down to Marina Bay. Reached in while moment, we got out and walked close to the shores where the waves roar in protest from the raging winds. The sky is densely clouded and the breezes is strong, but just nice enough for comfort. We sat down side by side and watched the waves continual sweeping up the shores.

Suddenly she position and lean herself on my back with her head facing up, looking at the nightly sky. I told myself never would I forget such day. The first intimate bodily contact I had with a girl back to back, just like two hearts melted in one. We spoke nothing, just revelling in nature's enjoyment.

yukiko:The sky is beautiful right?
I looked at the sky and to me, it appeared as if it's going to rain soon. Then she stopped leaning on me, and looked into me. As if a soldier going for war, my gaze never left hers - I have decide not to avoid it. We studied each other gaze for a moment and after what seemed like eternity, I could see a layer of wetness in her eyes.

yukiko:Cloud. would you remember me?
Actually I was wondering why she sobbed, but it seemed that maybe she wants to bring out something to tell me and I suspect it is nothing good. I nodded my head to her question and her gaze move onto the rough sea.

Cloud:Why? I will never forget you. is there something wrong?
She kept quiet, rolling her vision between the sea and the sky before looking down...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yukiko:I.. have to go back Japan.
Like a prick on bubbles, an internal implosion occurred within me.
Don't tell me all the fantasy I am having is coming to an end? If this was a dream, I pray that I will never wake up from it.
Cloud:I understand. your parents are over there and they worried for
you.

Even though I am fighting inside, I had to put on a brave front. Well, she isn't my girlfriend or something, I can't demand her not to leave. Girls of her age needs their parents to be with them more than friends.

yukiko:Will you come and visit me if I ask you to?
Cloud:Yes of course! I will!. Can we still contact through IRC?
I was hoping for a small miracle, its nothing much, but at least I could still talk to her online.
yukiko:I don't think I have computer or internet connection at my house.

The atmosphere is getting intense and to make matter worst, the I could feel a drop of water falling on my skin.

Cloud:Then. its ok. we could chat on the phone whenever we can and I think we better leave now, it's going to rain.
We both got up and walked hastily towards the road in trying to catch a cab, but halfway through, the merciless weather started pouring heavily. Even though I just had a shock from what she had just told me, in the present moment, in my mind, all I thought of is to shield her from the chilling rain as I didn't want her to fall sick. My hands formed a tiny, little barrier and covers her head. It is damn dumb and I don't understand why am I doing such acts - it won't block the rain from drenching her.

Then, I saw a coming taxi driving and I flagged it.
yukiko:You are so silly Cloud.
The next thing I knew, we were in the cab pretty drenched. I told the uncle to reduce the air-con to the lowest and put my arms around her shoulder, rubbing her arms to gain some heat. Gradually, for some reasons, she was in my embrace and I was stroking her soaked hair. Her eyes were kept closed and my fingers travelled to her cheeks. Pinching lightly to fulfil my long awaited-desire, she
opened her eyes, like an awaken baby in the morning. My index finger teased her dimples a little as she felt tickled and ruffled her head in between my arms and chest.

All good things must come to an end - the cab reached her place and lucky thing, there was shelter to her house. I told the uncle to wait for a while and got out of the cab with her.

cloud:When are you leaving then.?
yukiko:Tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Did I just hear wrongly? What's the rush? Sometimes, reality is extremely cruel - heaven makes sport of men.
yukiko:I am suppose to tell you earlier, but I can't bear to.
She is right. If she told me earlier, my feelings would be just like dying patients with the last stage of cancer - waiting for THAT day. It's terrible!

yukiko:Would you see me off?
In my heart, there is this robust urge of seeing her every second, but if I were to see her off, the scene would be unimaginable. My mind and soul won't be able to endure the parting scene.

cloud:I think, we should just keep this the last meeting then.'
I actually managed to smile and kept this mask of mine, this brave front indestructible. It remains on my face emotionlessly and dead.

cloud:Well. perhaps it's better if we keep it this way. By the count of three, we both just walk off to our destination and never look back ok?

She nodded and I could see her tears closed to spilling out.
'3.2.1.'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
mom:Boy ar, come, drink this.
It was close to my June examination and my mum knocked and came into my room, bringing me the usual examination brain tonic - Chicken Essence. I gulped down the entire bottle and sat by my study table in my room. Working through last year papers has driven me to the pinnacle of madness. I looked out of my room's window and thought of Yukiko, again.

It has been a few months since I last saw or heard from her. After the scene at her estate and we promise not to look back at each other, I never turn back to even have my last glance. I feel that I already had my last glance when I spoke my last words to her. As I depart, I controlled myself emotionally and force my tears back to its origin. For a guy's image, I can't allow such feelings to overpower me.

I went online that day and see if she was there using another nick, but no she wasn't. I know it already passed midnight, but I finally succumb to my inner self and wanted to make sure I won't think back and regret on the fact that I never check whether she was online that day.

I don't know why she never contacts me since then, but I know she has her reasons. Maybe she lost my number over there, maybe she is busy adapting to her new life. or maybe she has forgotten me? No can't be! How can that be? How can the scenarios that have been taken place be so easily forgotten? The day I knew her, our chats, the movie, dinner, straws fighting, the beach, the unexpected rain, the cuddle and every other tiny little details. Is this piece of
dreamland meant to be only a dream?

Tomorrow is the beginning of my exam. I rubbed my eyes a little and stretched, telling myself not to ponder over past issues as it may affect my exam performance. I went back to my books and paper and continue began working on it.

mom:Boy ar! Your phone!'

My phone? At such hours of the night?
cloud:Hello?
There was no respond, but somehow I had this feeling that it was her.
cloud:Yukiko?? Is that you?'
I was praying and gripping the phone hard, hoping that a miracle
could happen.

Yukiko:How.. how you know it was me?
cloud:I smart what! Hey! I never hear from you SO LONG!

I emphasised on the words 'So long' as if I had never heard anything from her for few decades. The first thing I did was to told her to hang on for a moment and screamed at the top of my voice, literally. My happiness could not contain inside me and I need to release it. Then I scolded her, in gentle tone, for not
contacting me and making me so worried for her.

Yukiko:Sorry. I can't use the phone here for very long too.
Actually, I don't mind the duration of her calls - I just wanted to hear her voice so badly.
Yukiko:Miss me?
cloud:For making me worried and missing you so badly, you shall treat me movie the next time I see you.

I used the same trick again. HAHAHA!
We spoke on the phone and talked like old friends and the pressing examination stress seemed to have vanished. I was hoping in my heart that time will freeze so that we could chat till the end of time.

Yukiko:Cloud. remember that day when I ask you if you would visit me in Japan and you said you would?
cloud:Yes? You want me to go over? Ok sure, tell me your address. I will go over right after my examination next sat.'
Yukiko:Next sat?. examination?. that is when?
cloud:Maybe 28 May or slightly later.Yeah. tell me your address?.'
I jolted down her contacts in Japan and kiss it.
Yukiko:Cloud. I got to go already. can't talk anymore. Before I put down, is there anything you want to tell me?
cloud:Take lots of care ok? I can't wait to see you soon!
Yukiko:You put down first Cloud. I don't want you to see me hang up on you.

With that a heavy heart our conversation ended as I put the phone down. In preparation for the coming trip to Japan, I hurried my revision, determined to do well so that I could psycho my mum to pay for my trip. I thank you God for giving me this chance!!
HOORAY!

*Days passed*
Finally I am close to finishing my examination - today is the last paper. I was home, like all other days, doing my revision. My mum says that if I do finish this examination, she would pay for my tickets, provided I give her my words that my results will be good when it is out. Regardless. I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE! I want to see her so badly and life has been good to me, even though little setbacks filled along the way, but I love the surprises Cupid has in store for me.

From morning till night, I have been studying non-stop, although my mind wandered on the thought of seeing her again. For the sake of going over, everything is worth it. Then, in amidst of studying, my mum calls for me and I guess it must be regarding the trip over. Hehz. Yeah I will see her soon!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
mom:Boy ar. a letter for you.

Huh? A letter for me? I had never receive a letter addressed to me before. I examined the envelope and it wrote ' To Cloud' on the front. Curiously, I tear opened and a letter fell out.
Dear Cloud,

Before I began, I apologise for not telling you everything about myself. In this world, if there is one person I wouldn't want to see crying - it would have been you.

I wrote this letter on the night when we parted and promise not to look back. Actually I broke the promise; I did looked back, because I feared that I may not have the chance to see you again this lifetime. I know you are putting on a brave front because as a woman I could cry and I know you would be there to console me, but someone has to be the stronger one to console and reassure right?

The reasons why I have to go back to Japan is because I am suffering from a rare case of a blood cancer that may claim my life very soon if it is not treated. My parents wants me to go back to take a major operation there because if this operation were to fail, I would disappear from the surface of the world and they wants to be with me during this period, that's why I ask you if you
would come to visit me if I ask you to.

The success rate of this operation is only 30% and anything could happen. So I want to tell you that I appreciate your company, your advices, everything you did or said. I giggled to myself every night after we chatted online and I began to ask myself if I fell in love with you. I guess I did, although you never express yourself to me. Perhaps it is just one sided, but no wrong liking you what right?

You told me you rather wait for the special one, and I told you I will also wait for mine. During the time when I was cuddling in you, I knew that you are the one. I hope that the cab could drive slower because I may not get the chance to cuddle in you again. You may find a girlfriend by then, or I am already in heaven watching over you.

My operation begins on 24 May and I will call you maybe a week plus before to fulfil the promise you said you would come over and visit me in Japan. By then you would know the truth and I could see you for the last time, at least.

But then again, if you receive this letter through mail send by my guardian, it means that I am already gone, leaving my physical body, leaving my suffering and of course, leaving this world. But do not despair, as I will always be around you, shielding you like what you did, in vain, to protect me from the rain today. You said you are not romantic at all, but to me, you are the best a guy could be.

I am feeling a little tired writing this letter, but I am determine to finish what I had to say. If there is one thing final question I want you to ask me, it would be you asking me whether if I like good-looking guys. No, I don't like them because I like guys like YOU - unique and extraordinary, just like Rosemary in the movie we watched together. This distinct character could only be found in you and I want you to kept it that way for I like the way you are,
not the way you looked.

I love you, Cloud. very much.
Yukiko

Tears I have been fighting back, at this time broke from my resistance barrier and roll down my cheek as I saw the date today - 27 May. I was rooted to the ground, totally defeated, lying at the mercy of my ill-fated destiny. I clutched my head tightly as trains of disillusioned thoughts sinks into my mind. Why DIDN'T I LEFT Singapore to Japan? I should have hack care about my examination to be with her, her final days. I should not have delay the trip over. I should not.

Decisions, most of the times, have cruel consequences regardless of which options I chose. I was at the verge of mental breakdown, totally confused and helpless, like a baby in crossfire, weeping silently to myself for the tears I owe her and for the lack of courage to express my feeling. She was waiting for me to pop the question! And I never did! I should have fuc-king listen to Jerry. At the very least, I could let her know HOW MUCH she meant to me and how much I loved her.

I knew something is happening to me.
I was crying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As expected, my results were good. Since that day, I never spoke much because I was hurt, disappointed and regretted beyond words. I sat at the bus stop where I first saw her and every scene replay itself in my mind, like a drama. I recalled that she still owe me a movie treat - although this could never happen and thinking of it, made me sink deeper into this whirlpool of depression.

Clutching tightly onto the heart origami that she made, I waited for the bus and soon, it arrived.
I took it and realise that it was the same bus driver again.
driver:Eh boy ar. why your girlfriend not with you ar?.'
I smiled at him and pointed to my heart.
cloud:Nope! She is with me. all the time.
-end.of.story-

2004-12-27T17:43:00.000+08:00

what goes around comes around..
what goes up must come down..

i hate cramps.. -groans- have been havin it since yday.. mann.. it juz make me so irritated.. every small little things tt goes bad irritates me to e maxi today..

had mark today n it kinda lame la.. mark sudd came to e topic of BGR n mann.. i hate tis topic cann? haX.. wadeva.. then he tok bout wad better dun get into BGR then aye.. jux e same old preachings la.. haX.. then

mark: u want mux be just fwenx lyk amy n liang chun..
amy: ...
mark: n oso lyk taolian n yq ffwenx.. -jux ffwenx-
me:-fumes- HAHA.. lyk u n huixian lor..
everyone: -LAUGHING OUR ARSE OFF-
mark: i already said so many times before.. huixian is e name of my ex-gf.. somemore she's so fat nw..
liangchun: it doesnt seem u make any differences..
everyone: LOL
mark: tis huixian here is so much prettier then her..

then sudd dunn said wad n i cut him off by saying..
me: aiyo.. as u said ffwen wad.. anyhow tink sia..
mark: haha.. ya hor ya hor..

hahaX.. today's lesson was fun.. lol.. fun to tease.. HAHA.. n he keep sayin he not old then he sm times sae dunno wad dun bully old mann then amy n me will add on.. c u admit tt u're OLD MANN NOT MATURE MANN.. hahaX.. fun la!!!! LOL.. did not follow was e cher was teachin today cos.. MY CRAMP DIVERTED MY ATTENTION!

wento np to eat mac.. but actually wanna go to foodcourt eat some soup mee thingy one cs e cramp make me no appetite!!!! but since felicia wanna go to macs so went to eat lo..then huixian went to sch first for her band then caroline, felicia n me walk around first lo..

then we had COH.. talk bout thigs in e agenda n stuffs for next yr n so on.. n went hm lo..
-------------------------------------------------------

for goodness sake.. if u dun lyk my attitude or anything about me then dun bother puttin up an act n be my ffwen.. n i jux dun lyk e gesture..

2004-12-25T13:42:00.000+08:00

[[ i.dunch.tok.to.u.does.not.mean.i've.treat.u.as.a.friend.no.more. ]]

oh wells.. have not been updating my blog for kinda long huh? hahaX.. dirt's been piling on my blog~!!! hahaX.. guess i'm kinda lazy.. lol.. miss me? hahaX.. i bet u do!!!*thick-skinn!!!*

well.. jux wanna sae.. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! heheX.. enjoy urself la ffwenx!! hehe.. best wishes to all my ffwenx!!! click here! =DD .. well.. it's gonna b a new yr soon.. so let's jux enjoy e few days of 2004 yea? hehe.. forget all e troubles/unhappiness/all.sad.things. n bring all ur happiness through 2004 n to 2005! hahaX.. so tt it'll b a better yr worx! =DD .. smilex alwayx!

hmm.. n i hate ppl hu discrimate my friends in front of me! i'll dig ur brains out mann! so stop ur dissings of her! if u dun lyk her tt's ur prob! tt's none of my business therefore u dun hav to tell me! get it?!

2004-12-19T10:35:00.000+08:00

+___gurls.aint.guys.sand-bag!*___

aww.. tis trip aint a great trip.. went back one day earlier cos brother injuried himself.. shouldnt hab gone on tis trip aye? haiX.. but he's better nw.. AT LEAST he does not needa hab e operation nw.. well.. might b a long entry so it's up to u guys if u wanna read it or not..

day1..
got n boat.. sea is rough.. carol, joanne, nicholas n aunts got sea sick.. joanne vomited.. poor joanne.. but she's fine after tt.. so tt great!-smiles- then we waited for e bus.. arrived.. checked in.. took fotos of e sea.. took fotos with e sea.. mann.. i'm so in love with seas!!!!-grins- shall hab e foto up when i got e camera.. cos not sure hu's it wit nw.. =DD .. cant play sea sports.. cos of e monsoon season so e sea's too rough.. mann.. i wanna play banana boat!!!-pouts- wento e villa via a mini bus.. n was told tt each villa has a buggy car[[smth lyk a golf car-i hate tis car-]] so all got excited n tried out e car though onli those hu r holdin a current driving license was able to drive n mux b 18 n above.. but none heed e advice la.. so all includin isabell, nicholas n ivan drove it outside e villa.. testing onli..

e villa's double story.. 4 bedrooms (1 double, 2 twin, 1 single).. with a kinda small private swimming pool bout e depth of 1.3m.. with a private BBQ pit-aint gonna use tis though- .. well wento e beach nxt.. it's low tide.. so we took kinda loads of foto with six aunt's camera cos my cam is outta battery.. hahaX.. i took too mani fotos in e lobby.. after tt wento eat in e villa.. they cooked maggi mee cos we r supposed to finish e food tt day n gonna have a feast e nxt day.. watched tv n e kids wento ride e buggy car outside e door.. after tt went for a SCARY ride with haoming kor, joanne n carol.. it's scary cos haoming's speeding! hahaX.. n e slopes r steep therefore it's kinda scary cos we're not facin e front.. went back watch tv with kor n haoming.. then wento zz while kor watch tv till morn..

day2..-i hate tis day-
i hated tis day.. will remember de!!!! -arrgh- i hate angsoka villa a-15!!! friek mann.. everything jux went bad today..-pissed off- woke up.. bath.. did e necessary stuffs.. wento e beach 2 watch sunrise.. haoming help took a foto.. kor did not go.. was sleeping in a villa alone cos he slept onli in e morn.. went back n change our shoe cos we're not suppoed to wear slippers to e lobby[[wad kinda logic is tis?]] ate n i onli lyk e sausages n hotcake n watermelon.. nvr gonna eat omelette again.. i'm scared of tt totally.. e omelette they cook on e spot la.. but.. on e outside it's nice.. but on e inside it's not cooked! wad e hell.. i took a bite n almost vomited mann! aint gonna eat tose kinda omelette anymore!-pukes-

haoming, carol, joanne n me went back to e villa n woke kor up n ask him to go n eat.. but e batteries for e buggy's low.. n we could not charge it.. so kor walk there alone.. n e rest of us waited for e buggy mechanic to come.. n charge for a while.. wento e lobby again.. wanted to charge but dammits.. cannot b charged again n tis time it's so totally outta battery so we ask e ppl to fix it n send it back to e villa n we asked to staffs to send us back to e villa.. wento play volley ball for awhile.. but aint gotta any idea how to play so it's kinda bored la.. n e sand on e ball's flyin ard.. so went back to villa changed into swimming costume n swam.. swam bout 20+ rds n my leg's aching.. didnt swam for a long time..-pouts-

wento sun tann.. did not apply cream.. n e sun's scorchin hot.. gotton red.. n kinda tann nw. but still not happy.. cos aint gotten as tann as e last time! but joanne was lyk totally red or rather pink! haX.. well.. nw e skin kinda peeling off.. -pouts- wento bath after all e kids finish bathin.. kor n haoming wento look for things to play.. n wanted to play archery.. so asked hu's gonna play so e kids hitched e 1st ride.. cos we have not bathed.. so wento bath n found it weird tt haoming n kor r not back to fetch us but we did not noe anything so we watch tv while waiting..

haoming called.. told us tt kor's in e clinic.. n they aint sure tt he's havin a dislocation or a fracture or his bones r broken.. rushed down there immediately but dammits jux as we were about to go e staffs came n insisted on showin us e buggy condition be4 we could c them.. dammits.. wad e hell.. is money more impt? i guess to u ppl they're! goddammit.. wento e clinic nxt.. gotta a feeling tt it aint minor injury for him.. cos e buggy's in a bad condition.. reached there.. kor's in pain.. mann felt lyk cryin but aint supposed to cry.. so beared with it.. e ppl oso lyk dunno wad to do one.. so mom went back n they packed e things n went back to s'pore.. cant go with mom to e hospital.. cos onli 1 person can go into e emergency rm.. so i went with carol they all.. wento eat lo.. then called mum but she say she jux came down frm e boat cos e ambulance jux came.. DAMMITS.. it was lyk waited for e ambulance for 2 hrs! fcuking-ly angry lo! wad e hell.. mux wait in e boat for so long dun u allt ink tt they'll get sea sick? dammit.. pla la for goodness sake tink mann! wad if e injury's serious?! he went for x-ray n i wento e hospital at night.. gotta noe tt he broke 3 bones.. mum cried.. he needa go for e opt.. but after much discussion he does not needa go.. god bless him! -wipe sweat-

2004-12-17T09:39:00.000+08:00

[[ e.heart.has.it's.reason's.which.reason.does.not.noe ]]

FINALLY.. i managed to get a good sleep yday night.. hahaX.. but.. i had a vry strange ddreamm.. i dreamt tt huixian, gladys, cecelia, samantha n miex were at xishan pri sch.. at e general office playin some sorts of P.E. game.. hahaX.. then sudd i was crying.. hahaX.. then they console me n blahx then sudd we were running ard e bball court.. hahaX.. then i saw a very familar face-forgot his name..=X-.. then me n him were playing ard n sudd huixian they all disappeared.. then i was lyk in my primary sch wearing e pri sch uniform.. hahaX.. playin so childishly.. lol.. weird la.. hahax.. but dun care.. hahaX.. gtg nw.. gotta pack my bag!!! hahaX.. bye all! muackx..

2004-12-15T16:20:00.000+08:00

(`v) True.love.doesn't.have.a.happy.ending.That's.because.true.love.doesn't.have.an.ending. (`v)

aww.. didnt get a good night sleep.. slept bout 2hrs only in total.. hahaX.. reason? i oso dunno.. lol.. hmm.. changed my layout.. how u all find it? find it kinda plain.. wanted to change e backgrd to black instead of white.. but i dunno howto change lehx!!!! =X .. hehe.. then add some blikies.. =DD .. hahaX.. but e code for tis skin so tricky one..-sulks- arrgh cnt stand it.. i'm sick again!! flu has hit me.. =(( ..

kinda hopin for friday to come soon!!! =DD.. hehe.. gonna go to e bintan resort.. heheX.. so shiok.. carol told me we're gonna b stayin in a villa n havin our private swimming pool.. =DD.. hahaX.. how fun can it get? lol.. gonna pray hard tt tis time round there aint gonna b any bats at night huh!*shivers* hahaX..

gonna spend my whole day at e beach!!! =DD .. mann.. i luv beach!!! gonna get tann tann tann.. hahaX.. but.. mux b provided tt it does not rain la.. lol.. i wanna play sea sports.. =DD.. aww.. friday ar!!!! hurry up mann!!! hahaX..

2004-12-14T04:35:00.000+08:00

i cnt getta sleep.. =(( .. -yawns-

2004-12-12T22:02:00.000+08:00

arrgh! frieking derrick choy!!!! wad e hell!!! sheesh u scare da hell outta mi mann!!! aargh!!!!! if u're used to being scared by all these things for all means carry on but u dun have to scare me mann! hahaX.. u noe i'm scared of these! hahaX.. u'll get it if i cannot get to sleep mann! hahaX.. i'll pester u at ngt till u say sorrie!!! hahaX.. though u oreadi said it la..lol.. BUT I DUN CARE! hahaX.. mann.. u owe mi one! hahaX..

2004-12-11T11:12:00.000+08:00

HaPpYy BiRtHdAyY cUiYi..

happy birthday gurl! hahaX.. noe tt u're not in Singapore now.. so takkaire of urself wor! hahaX.. enjoy urself too la.. lol.. u have been a great ffwen wor! =DD .. hahaX.. yea nxt yr we're all gonna b in e same klass huh? hahaX.. after a yr of nt bfing in e same klass we're back together again! hahaX.. i sounded fo damn lesbo dunch i? hahaX.. k la.. gonna stop nw.. lol.. stay happy, cute notti, funny, clever, hardworking n pretty 4eva.. *winkx* ffwenx 4eva!

eh.. gonna head to town ltr on.. hahaX.. gonna look for smth.. hahaX.. mann!! i'm gonna get my hand on tt roxy handbag n tt wallet mann!!! hahaX.. luv it mann!!! hehe.. but there's onli one major prob.. hahaX.. tt is.. I'M GONNA B SO BROKE MANN!!! hahaX..

rUmOrS-LiNdSaY lOhAn

Saturday steppin' into the club
And it makes me wanna tell the DJ
Turn It Up
I feel the energy all around
And my body can't stop moving to the sound

But I can tell that you're watching me
And you're probably gonna write what you didn't see
Well I just need a little space to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy

[BRIDGE:]
Why can't you just let me
Do the things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I don't understand why
Would you wanna bring me down
I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life
Like I wanna do

[CHORUS:]
I'm tired of rumors starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

Here we are back up in the club
People taking pictures
Don't you think they get enough
I just wanna be all over the floor
And throw my hands up in the air to a beat like (What?)

I've gotta say respectfully
I would like it if you take the cameras off of me
'Cause I just want a little room to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy

[BRIDGE:]
Why can't you just let me
Do the things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I don't understand why
Would you wanna bring me down
I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life
Like I wanna do

[CHORUS:]
I'm tired of rumors starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

I just need to free my mind (my mind)
Just wanna dance and have a good time (good time)

I'm tired of rumors (rumors)
Followed (followed, followed, followed, followed, followed)

What they (follow) me
Why can't they (they they they-they-they) let me live

Take this for just what it is

[CHORUS:]
I'm tired of rumors starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

I'm tired of rumors starting
I'm sick of being followed
I'm tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

2004-12-10T18:41:00.000+08:00

"My Boo"
(feat. Alicia Keys)

[Usher intro:]

There's always that one person
That will always have your heart
You'll never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo

[Alicia intro:]

I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock

[Usher Verse:]

Do you remember girl
I was the one who gave you your first kiss
Cause I remember girl
I was the one who said put your lips like this
Even before all the fame and
People screaming your name
Girl I was there when you were my baby

[Chorus:]
[Usher:]
It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

[Alicia:]
I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man who's in my life
You will always be my boo

[Alicia Verse:]

Yes I remember boy
Cause after we kissed
I could only think about your lips
Yes I remember boy
The moment I knew you were the one
I could spend my life with
Even before all the fame
And people screaming your name
I was there and you were my baby

[Chorus:]
[Usher:]
It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

[Alicia:]
I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man who's in my life
You will always be my boo

[Usher:]
My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

[Alicia:]
My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

[Chorus:]
[Usher:]
It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

[Alicia & Usher:]

I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock

2004-12-08T22:15:00.000+08:00

When death was offering me rest,
I felt your arms holding me,
Your embrace warmed my soul,
Giving it peace, giving it hope.
I spoke, you listened;
Your silence relieving and kind,
Your Frienship kept me safe,
I was never alone...

When it was time to stand,
You offered me your hand,
You showered me the light
And helped me find my way out;
I've forgotten how to live,
But you made me breathe,
You brought life back to me,
And taught me how to keep it

2004-12-07T22:01:00.000+08:00

[[ i'm.nort.someone.u.could.control.i.have.muar.own.life. ]]

eh.. seems lyk i've nort been updating for a long time huh? hehe.. kinda lazy to blogg nowadays.. haX.. been sleeping late at ngt.. cant getta sleep.. haX.. cos i'm nw used to sleeping late! haX.. guess i'll b in deep trouble when sch starts! lol..

2nd dec..
was supposed to have mark tuition today.. but cancelled it cos was gonna have a bowling competition.. last min inform by e seniors cos some of them hab things to do at e last minute so we replaced them.. well caroline, marie, felicia n me decided to go first cos we wanted to go n practice.. well.. we got there kinda early n went in there n we were kinda SHOCK cos we were wearin skirts while e others were wearin track pants n most were guys at that tyme.. haX.. we were so embarrassed that we went out n made some calls to the rest to ask them to bring track pants..

well.. we were actually fretting over nutting.. cos there were 2rds.. n e boys r playin e 1st rds.. so we wento watch tem play.. n mann! we saw a guy who was so damn.. gayish.. i mean his actions are lyk so gu niang type.. =X .. kk.. shant liddat sae ppl.. hehe.. well.. in e end.. camie decided to play so she came to our grp n we have to ask some1 to go out cos there shld b onli 3 players.. so felicia n caroline settled btwn themselves n caroline n in while felicia was e reserve for marie's grp..

jiakhee mdm mdm came to give us support.. hehe.. so good huh! muacks!! hehe.. she's jux so good mann!!! oh yeah!!!! haha.. well chinese high guys sark can? goddamn it.. u all organise this game still curse ppl? frieking-ly idiotic mann! well we got a gold trophy!!! haha.. but u noe wad? every grp has it.. cos it's a trophy of PARTICIPATION!(._.") haX.. well after tt we decided not to wait for e bus so we walked out.. marie n i walk at e back n tok bout stuffs when i saw a damn BIG spider web n spider tt is sho big bout e size of my kor kor de palm.. hahaX.. wanna noe go c my kor kor's palm ba! lol.. then we walk walk till e big big train there n guess wad all of us saw? a monitor lizard! lol.. well.. it was kinda big too bout 40cm liddat.. haX.. guess we saw mani weird things huh? lo..

wento carol's hse instead of goin hm.. n joanne was rebondin her hair at tt time.. so i wento their hse after goin to e salon.. n wait for ppl come fetch me hm.. =)) ..

3rd dec..
wento town today with joanne, caroline, haoming kor n my kor.. haX.. haoming was late so joanne, caroline n mi wento buy the ticket 1st.. while my bro wait at e mrt station for haoming..

wento buy tickets for e show taxi.. after tt met up with them.. hahaX.. then haoming wanted to go n upgrade his hp version so we wento e nokia shop n mann i took e queue no cos i oso wanna upgrade my hp version but haoming told mi it'd take very long may till e nxt day then i wad lyk huh? no thx.. i'd rather nort upgrade! hahaX.. so joanne n siblings n me wento heeren to walk for a while n they bought sweets while my bro n haoming wait for their turn..

wento meet again be4 goin in for e movie.. hahaX.. then it's kinda funny e show.. lol.. kinda lame too.. hahaX.. gonna catch another show or two be4 sch starts.. meet up with mama after e movie as she wanna treat us all to dinner so we wento genghis khan n eat.. eh.. e soup is e nicest!!!! hahaX..

5dec..
well.. wento chinatown today... mum told mi there's lee wah there n mann when i got there there isnt any lee wah! mum has mistakin lee wah for another shop that sells facial products.. well.. wasted my trip there! humph.. so wento buy e cream but there isnt e product tt i've been usin! all e product there seems so alien to me lorhx! hahaX.. budden i didnt noe how i manage to buy till so exp!!! almost reaching $100.. =S .. ekk.. was kinda forced to buy a cream tt smells so damn arrgh.. got a herbal smell..-pouts- them bought a hair cream.. wento walk walk ard n e things there lyk so old de.. then it's borin mann!!! wanna zzz when i go there! but e food's nice though!!! =DD ..

today..
well.. today e SCV man finally came n fix e cable.. n i'm glued to e tv for e whole day!!! =DD .. heheX.. eh.. i'm slacking so damn much these few days.. gonna do muar hwk soon.. lol.. dun wanna do it in e last min again! haha.. eh yinmei ar.. i'll write ur testimonial tmr kk? sorrie arhx!!! bro was not in today.. ig bro out with GF? sec bro wento play soccer n wento wee kian's hse.. then vv borin at hm.. hahaX.. no one to bicker with.. =X .. so go find trouble with mama.. =X.. hehe.. so fun!!! =DD ..

then at ngt sec bro came hm liao then his ffwenx came then sian cos SOME ppl keep delibrately walk infront of me while i was watchin tv! hahaX.. go kick him.. =DD .. =X.. hehe.. lalala~ ..

oh btw! any guides wanna go ice skating? nxt wk mon. tues, or wed oso can.. we'll chose e day tt most ppl can make it de.. eh.. wanna go sms me 91503128 or sms grace or any sec 3's wor! hehe.. it's at jurong east.. regardless of wad level wor! =DD

2004-11-26T18:34:00.000+08:00

[[living in e world of my own.. away frm e cruelty of truth..]]

gawsh gawsh gawsh! i'm so damn tired n sick mann!!!!-snorex- jux came back frm camp christine n chalet.. aww.. my hand got 2 colour liao.. same goes for my leg!!! -sobs- one part fairer e other tann tann de!!! -woot- yea.. i got tanner!!!! hahaX.. eh lemmi write bout e camp days n followed by e chalet.. hahaX..

day 1..
todae mi woke up kinda early la.. at 5 liddat cos e camp thingy i haben finish packing.. so did e necessary stuff n wento sch.. was havin stomachache!!!!!-pouts- so mi wento e toilet.. hahaX.. then have briefing.. gotta put on e identity n name tags.. n proceeded up to e bus.. wento camp christine n e bus dropped e sec 1,2,3's outside e campo n we hab to hike in which was ard 2km.. then my grp tako yaki went in as e 2nd grp.. haha.. -shouts- then we gotta chose our tents n we habta shout our cheer!! haX.. we habta shout twice cos e chers sabotaged us.. heh.. then we hab to built our tent n oso e store tent cos we were e orderlies tt unfateful day.. =X .. eh...tt one was damn tiring.. my face was so.. damn red lorhx!! hahaX..

wahx.. now for e food part.. heh.. fun fun..=X.. heh.. we hab nasi lemak for our lunch n we did not cook it ourself.. so e lunch is nice!!!!*yums* my grp take yaki was supposed to gib out or rather serve e food.. heh.. i was the one hu served e rice.. *sorry ppl* i gave so much rice to e campers.. hehe.. as there were alot of food left behind marhx.. as we were supposed to finished all of them... so at last we hab to serve e food to the camp staffs n RP*resource personnel* which r the sec 4's.. e camp staffs most pitiful one la.. hab 3 big scoops of rice..=X.. then ms jane worse cos sara added 3 fish for her when one person onli gets one.. hahaX.. pathetic rgt? lol.. then tt is e also e last nice food bahx.. eh.. not exactly la.. hahaX.. read on lo.. =PpP ..

next half of the day we habta do gadgets for our tents n e store tents.. n it was gadgets n gadgets.. we separated ourselves mi n grace n krithiga do e gadgets for e store tent n wahx.. it wad so damn frieking tiring cos we habta mak gadgets for e sides n back of e tent.. mann.. *pengx* wahx.. then i wento e camp store tent to take out e poles needed for e gadgets n yea i took damn lots tt my hand felt lyk breaking..*arrgh* then grace knock e poles into e ground n well.. e head of e mallot flew out n bursting out luffing is sure wad we did.. haX.. n got one good news tt is ms kong told mi tt she'll b teachin 3e6 for chem*claps hand!!!!* wooh!!!!!!!!!! but hor dunno e principal will change not lehx..

then had our dinner.. prepared by e sick ms goh.. pity her la.. haix.. takkarie.. dinner lehx.. it was macaroni soup.. tis one hor.. haix.. not enuff macaroni la.. then habta gib little little la.. but e ingredients is kinda nice cos there's chicken drum n potato n e soup is nice though.. oh yea be4 dinner wento bath.. hahaX..

after dinner wento do our duties as orderlies n wash e dishes.. arrgh.. so mani dishes.. after tt rest for awhile n we were told to go to the hall for briefing about night walk.. well.. it's kinda disgusting la.. cos.. arrgh.. saw two big big spider webs n we habta go under it really scare e hell outta mi cos i hate creepy crawlies n e spider was lyk e size of my palm..*shivers* then habta walk down slopes n walk up steep slopes mann walkin up e steep slopes i nearly fell.. haX.. cos too muddy liao!!!! then came e most scary part la.. heh.. tis part is walk by ourselves no partners no nothing.. felicia.. denise and me were lyk so damn scared of darkness n dogs n there were lyk dogs barking lo.. so mi felicia n denise hug hug each other.. hees.. thankies mann!!! luv yas all.. *muackx* mann.. ms jane lie to us sayin tt e dogs were caged up n we were so naive to belief her! n for once i did not cos wen it was e last few n it was my turn.. i.. walked out.. saw a dog there n ran back to e grp there..*pfft* win liao lo.. then i let jiahui go first be4 i go myself.. haha.. but go oreadi hor found tt not tt scary la.. lol.. then jiahui was lyk walkin so da slow lehx.. n i walk so da fast so i managed to catch up with her.. hahaX.. then felicia was waiting for us.. haha.. n walk in together n tok tok tok bout wad we encountered.. heh.. tt's e end of day 1!!!! heh..

day2..

woke up on time!!! haha.. but my poor body was aching all over.. haha.. pain pain.. our duty today was wood n water.. had colours but nor mornin exercise..=X .. cos all grps were busy cept for our grp.. hahaX.. so nahx.. no morn exercise.. had breakfast.. after breakfast had our pioneering lesson..eh wait.. be4 pioneerin our grp habta chop wood.. wah pengx.. tis one hor.. krithiga so ke lian.. duno howta chop kena by ms soh.. omg!!! then mi chop alot lehx.. chopt till hab blister..*cries*

pioneering lesson was kinda sianzation la.. taught e basic of makin e emergency shelter, ladder aka bridge n chopping of wood n wad's e correct way of passing e axe.. total waste of time lorhx.. somemore grace sae he teach one oso no use or rather is rubbish cos he teach one is diff frm wad they learnt frm e pioneering lesson.. haX.. wadeva... first we wento do e ladder thingy.. spent kinda a long time there cos we hab totally strained our energy la.. so it was difficult for us to untie e ladder cos e string was so thick n tight.. n while doing.. discovered tt poor sara had so mani mosquito bites on her hands n leg n kinda swollen so i took her to find ms soh to get e mopiko n apply on her hand.. poor thing.. after tt wento do e emergency shelter lo.. tt one borin la.. anihow do.. then after e pioneering was lunch..

after lunch.. we hab to wash e dishes for e orderlies of e day cos they were going for e kayaking.. mann.. it seems lyk we're always stuck with e work of e orderlies.. we hab to go n chop e wood again.. mann.. tis one hor.. so tiring lehx.. habto chop two bags of it lehx.. gawsh.. my hand was damn pain by tt time cann? my blister had bursted n wad kinda lyk bleeding n so tired tt i did not care it e wood dropped onto e ground tt when i took them up it scratch my hand n there goes another scar onto my hand..*pain pain* by tt time kinda havin a foul mood.. pms acting up again ehs? wadeva.. gah.. hate pms.. blechx.. get away n outta my life!

had games time n by tt time my pms is over.. hahaX.. crazy rgt? lol.. we have to stand in e drain n try to get ourselves in order as in frm sec 1-3 n frm tallest to shortest.. haX.. e first is gettin frm tall to short is easy task n we did it kinda well.. e nxt one we habta re-do losta times cos we kept fallin down down down.. hahaX.. tis kinda boosted our patrol bonding which we needed totally!! haX.. then had so much of free time cos it was raining..*sobs sobs* we cant go for kayaking!!!!!! haix.. our patrol was e last patrol! poor us.. we habta stay indoor n do nutting.. haix.. so our grp decided to touch up on our patrol's performance.. haX.. or rather we did nutting be4 tt.. did for while be4 we were called out for our dinner... at night we had our map n compass by PROFESSIONALS.. professionals lehx.. no wonder la... so boring de.. =X.. hehe.. jkjk.. poor mi i was lyk e onli one hu dunch understand wad he was tokin bout.. wad a geog student i was.. hahaX.. SPARE MI E COMPASS MANN!!!! lol..

denise n radhiah went hm today.. poor denise n radiah.. hope u gurls recover soon.. luv ya all!!! *muackx*

day3..

in e morn.. shit mi n grace gotta a visit frm our big aunt!!!!*pouts* jux as i dreaded it.. eh if u dunch noe was it is.. dunch bother asking la.. haX.. eh today woke up at 6.15.. mann.. we were lyk 30mins late so rush n rush n rush.. but we're still kinda earlier then e other grps la.. duty for e day.. cooks which is e same as crepes which is felicia's grp! wee.. hahaX.. crazy little mi.. hahaX.. cooks for e day.. wahx.. look out ppl!!!! hahaX.. mind tt u dunch get food poisoning.. =X .. hehe.. jkjk.. i'm not tt gross afterall.. heh.. mi vv good one.. today habta prepare e food for lunch n breakfast.. breakfast is bread with peanut butter or kaya.. then eh.. lunch is sandwich.. egg sandwich or tuna sandwich.. haX.. with lettuce.. e leaf of e lettuce was nice.. but not e hard part.. mann.. it's gross cos it's bitter..*pukes* oh did i say tt e sandwich was for e orientation afterwards? after eating.. did our duties n headed to e hall n had briefing for our orientation.. n xinyi's in our grp.. yea! heh..

after briefing we set off for e orientation.. we went to e hay's goat farm 1st.. cos it's e nearest.. n e uncle was lyk so blur blur de.. cos we did not pay for e milk n he doesnt noe.. hahaX.. n we bought a magnet though we did not get into e tour grp cos e person said tt we were too small a grp.. haX.. nxt destination.. we wento e police coastguard thingy n hang ard there for kinda long looking for e no. 34009.. mann.. took a realli long time n well it was realli visible cos it was at e startin of e place.. win liao lo.. hahaX.. cos at e startin we haben open e envelope..

wento e cow farm nxt n g'damn it.. i hate it mann.. it name is dunno was vishnu thingy.. friekingly rude mann.. e person in charge sucks mann.. we were told to get outta e farm! pls la for g'damn sake.. u all did not put enter unless appointment made rgt? g'damn it.. i hate tt person man.. fancy raising ur voice at us.. for goodness sake we DID pay u for e milk okay it's not as if we DID NOT! friek u mann..

wento take a bus ride as we were lazy to walk back as it was so long!!!! well i tink xinyi lost her wallet in e bus n for goodness sake la.. can any kind souls return it to e tibs bus company not? plus her $26 n i'd b so g'damn grateful to u.. haix.. ke lian de xinyi.. lend her my hp while she made her calls to e tibs bus company n ms soh.. walked to e bullfrog farm.. did not open e envalope earlier again.. wento e wrg frog farm.. went into e one tt has alot of DOGS!!!! *arrgh* spare mi e dogs cann!!!!! we tok to e person n damnit.. he does not understand wad we sae!!!! *pffft* then i turn ard n gotta a shock n i told them "gurls.. we're not in e correct frog farm!" well went out WITH e dogs tailing us.. gawsh! tis was a time i felt lyk running!!!!!!! but cannot la.. so controlled myself..wento e correct one e nxt time n after finishin wad was requested we wento e nxt destination.. BUT.. not walkin..

our cute sara went out e middle of e road n [[waves waves]] "uncle can u bring us to sungei buloh?" n e uncle kindly agreed.. hahaX.. well singaporeans aint tt bad afterall.. hahaX.. we were so damn happy tt we sang our cheer n our song for e campfire item on our way there.. hehe.. though e ride was fast but e walk would gonna b LONG!!!! hahaX.. went in n mi n xinyi sat down n wait for e kingfisher to come out..*stupid aint we?* =X .. while e rest look ard for e mudskipper n stuffs.. so we sat there for kinda long n tok tok n sudd tok until sae we dunch wanna eat e sandwich.. haha.. then in e end nutting was found so we wento take a brochure n take it as an evidence tt we did go there.. went out n hitched a ride again to e Kranji Beach..

kranji beach was so muddy!!!!! well did all e things required n wento hitch another hike again.. hahaX.. then went back outside of e camp to look for xinyi's wallet to make sure tt she did not lose it on e grass patches.. unfortunately we did not manage to find it.. so good luck for us we manage to hitch a hike back though it's kinda near but at tt time seems so far away.. hahaX..

wen back n it was startin to rain so there goes our outdoor cooking.. so we had to bring in e bbq pit.. yeah!!!! no outdoor cookin.. =X... hahaX.. mi prepared e chicken n well nadia accidently dropped it.. well dunch blame u gurl.. haX.. cos u washed it again.. so i marinated it again.. n mann.. my hand turned red cos e chilli sauce is makin my hand so da hot!!!!!! but fun la.. esp when rosanna mdm mdm is there.. hahaX.. she so perverted one de.. cannot sae.. it's m18.. mature content.. hahaX.. =X .. i spent kinda a long time marinating n gettin e sauce in n as it was my 1st time doin it i do it anyh0w.. heh.. so we started cookin la.. n dinner's ready!!!!! hehehe.. yums!!!! sang our grace n started eatin.. served my own-made marinate chicken to e rest of e patrol.. hahaX..[[exaggerating mi..=X]] BUT.. i aint i one hu's e most exaggerate.. nadia is.. she make mi so da embarassed!!!!! she talk so damn loud tt "NO MS SOH.. OUR PATROL'S CHICKEN IS E NICEST MADE BY TAOLIAN ONE" omg!!! was tryin to find a place to hide!!!!! where's my bag!!!!!!!!!! hahaX.. n i hab to feed her e chicken... eh nvrm.. habta b good to her cos she's my manito ma.. hahaX..

eh after tt hab campfire.. felicia n carol were e MCs.. hahaX.. funny n cute aint they.. truth tt cnt b denied.. hahaX.. lame ppl but fun la.. hahaX.. e friendship dance was great.. hahaX.. felicia was once my partner n we two were lyk screamin at e top of our lungs but she screamed louder then mi.. little wonder for her sore throat.. hahaX.. takkaire la gurl.. then it was e manito thingy!!! i.. habta pull ms soh ls.. n i guess she was shock? hahaX.. then dorothea manito is mi!!!!!! hehe.. i lurb her mann!!!! she's jux so sweet!!!! hehe.. mi hug hug her after e campfire.. cnt bear to c her leave sch.. almost wanted to cry mann!!!! -sobs sobs- dorothea dun worry as promised i'll remember u de!!!! *muackx*

campfire ended real soon... missin it rgt nw.. hahaX.. eh.. then mi wento air my leg la.. cos it hurts.. n mann.. nadia one is worse then mine.. wahx.. mine hab splits.. pain pain.. cos afternoon went into e rain n did not take out our socks n shoe till at night so e thing.. eh dunno howto explain la.. hahaX.. go try la.. =X .. jk la.. painful lehx.. then i wento tok to ms jane cos she call mi.. n showed her e pic n tok to her bout e orientation n i cannot make u my mind where i go la.. hehehe.. sorry la! then she called mi a sotong!!!! -sulks- mi is OCTOPUS BALL.. NOT SOTONG BALL! hahaX... SOTONG BALL is caroline's grp.. hahaX.. there goes e 3rd day.. well.. today is e day when our grp finally BONDED!!!! [[wee!!!! dances ard!!!!!]]

day4..
day tt i hab look forward to.. woke up late again today.. hahaX.. mann.. woke up feelin cramps.. g'damn it.. it hurts so much tt i wanna cry!!!!-pouts- spare mi all e cramps can? it's e last day of camp n i cnt enjoy it?!-pfft- cramps cramps cramps I HATE U!!!! -pfft- enuff of tt.. was kinda happy tt we did not have to strike tent as i was kinda foggy n misty.. not much sunlinght.. so we undo our gadgets n stuffs lo..

sat at corners of e stairs to chat la.. about 16 ppl la.. hehe.. mi sat down cos e cramp's killing mi!!!!! sat down n tok bout things we wanna tok bout.. gossip gossip gossip.. hahaX.. n mi took photo with e cute cute dorothea.. hehe.. she's jux too fun!!!! hehe.. n cute!!!! luv ya.. n stupid felicia.. mi took video of her dancing she oso dunno.. haha.. those wanto c come find mi k?! =X [[sure get killed one..]] hahaX..

had our lunch which was a hotdog bread n apple n we habto strike tent cos e sun is out!!! man!!! i had thought we dunch habto strike tent!!!! haix!!!! then grace at tt time put e love grass on my hair.. hahaX.. thankie!.. then we got e prize for e 1st in games!!!!*yipee!!!!* hahaX.. then home sweet hm i'm comin!!! hahaX.. miss my bed miss my radio miss my pc!!! hahaX.. went hm n on e pc n use it but kinda take a little small naps infront of e pc.. hahaX.. so did not update till nw.. heh..

chalet..day1..
woke up in e morn.. wento pack my bag.. wento wait for ppl come fetch mi.. wento chalet check in.. well.. help out with e necessary stuff.. wento start e fire.. n e always opposing mi de uncle dunno howto start n anihow show off!!! neh la!!!! hahaX.. =PpP.. oppose mi is jk de la.. hahaX.. then bbq start.. n ppl start to come liao.. mi papa oso coming so mi bbq for him to eat... hehe.. c mi so good gurl one nehx!!! hehe.. then mi jokingly ask him..

me:papa.. my money lehx??!!! hehehe...
e rest of e ppl there: hahaha..
papa: wad?!
me: ay.. jk la.. hehehe.. =P

wen up to pei joel.. he just came frm e elmo show at e downtown east there.. haha.. n he was wearin e elmo shirt tt i chose for him!!!*smiles* hehehe.. so kawaii... so handsome.. now more handsome le.. hehehe.. joel mux thank mi tis aunt hor!!! =X .. hahaX.. crazy mi!!!!

4th uncle n family oso came.. n obviously not without majiong.. mann.. i at ngt zz oso mux hear until e sound!!! driving mi crazy n my head aches.. slept vv late.. n watch a show t hao ming kor claim tt it was nice.. hahaX.. but i dun even get wad it means.. nor did all of those hu watched it.. hahaX.. wento zzz after tt..

day2..
woke up with e splitting headache n shivers.. tt made mi almost fainted!! did not tell mum else i'd b send hm! haha.. so i continue to zzz... feel do da cold n hide under my blankets n off e air-con.. n felt better after a while.. wento e escape.. n e moment we r in it sarted to rain.. n there're so little ppl de.. so we wento play some games when e rain stop n i felt weak again so we ent back tinkin tt we could go back at ngt.. but hu noes my headache n fever got e better of mi n i was sent to e clinic where i dunno where oso... hahaX..e doc ki siao one anihow gib medicine.. gib panadol n logenzes nia.. liew.. i'd rather go to cheers n buy rather then spent $36 in ur clinic ar!!!! *pfft* went back n ate some things took my medicine n slept waking up some times cos ppl touchin my forehead.. n i cried cos e headache was unbearable..

day3..
went hm today.. nth much to sae.. cos i was lyk a walkin zombie.. haX.. with e g'damn headache makin my head do fuckin' pain!!!! how i wish i was at hm at tt moment.. check out n went hm.. zzz throughout e day.. ate dinner but ate onli e quarter of it.. g'damn it.. my headache still; hass not gone off.. frieking pain.. felt lyk crying!!!

today...
I woke up today.. And said in my mind.. "i don't care anymore..." I honestly don't.. I'm positive I won't ever give it a second thought from now on.. Yep.. leave it all behind.. I'm serious.. so damn serious.. Eyelids fluttered, blankets strewn aside. I hopped outta bed despite the icy air n bad headaches hurting my head..

No matter what, I'll always be me.. No matter how much I change, I'll still be e same old taolian.. I'll always have my bestest friends, my mom, my dad, my brothers, and the loves of my life (sports, music, n so on) That's my fuckin' sense of security.. dunch deprive mi of tt or u'll get to taste my g'damn attitude tt i'm havin nw.. cos they're my g'damn comfort.. some times or most of e times i might tend to forget those who are supportive towards me.. Forgive me, forgive me.. i'll try to remember...

back off with ur fuckin drama n smses or notes.. i care nutting for it nw.. wad i care for is.. happy thoughts.. here i come.. glorious moments wait for miex.. i'll surely b there.. i promise..

n g'damn my headache.. achin up again.. leave mi alone wun u?! friekingly got mi into a foul mood nw..

What is love?
They say love is too broad of a subject to generalize. It is hard to tell someone "I love you" if the meaning of love can be used in so many aspects. Perhaps it's a feeling? Or maybe it's based on something else?When I say it, I mean it many ways. Friendship love. Relationship love. I don't base it on standards. "He's my boyfriend, therefore, I love him." "She's my friend, therefore, I love her." I rarely say it. I say it when that certain emotion hits me. I use those words when I'm certain that I love the person. But how do I know it's love? Well, I don't. Just feel.

2004-11-18T22:16:00.000+08:00

[[BaCkSpAcE.. hOw I hAd WiShEd TiS hAd WoRkEd In ReAl LiFe..]]

wahx.. realised tt i've not updated for e long time wor! haX..had been busy with e end-of-yr camp thingy.. heeX.. kinda got so fed-up at some times.. haX.. cos we keep makin mistakes on e flag then even habta re-do.. wahx.. now.. i'm totally broke frm buyin e camping thingy..

wento causeway pt today n bought e bag for camping de.. wax.. so da exp!!! haX.. then actually wanna go find joel de.. BABY JOEL.. budden dun wan la.. hahaX.. mama say my cough ltr will infect him then better not la! ltr he kena infected so sad de..! hehe.. saw him recently when i pass some stuffs to my da yi ma! hehe.. grown big again n CHUBBIER!!!!! hehe.. his cheeks gonna suffer!!! =X.. *oPpS* hehe.. no la.. i not so bad de.. haha.. tmr gonna go to town? haX.. c 1st.. i'm tired..!!! hahaX.. jalamaia oso so chubby one!!! hahaX.. so kewt!!! gawsh i missing them!!! hahaX.. k la.. enuff of my craziness..

oh ya!!! my water bottle spoil liao!!! =(( .. gonna look for a new n nicer one!!!*smileX* hahaX.. yday use for hammering e small work into e ground then spoil liao.. *sad sad..* hehe..

oh another thingy!!! got anything impt drin 23-26 hor jux sms mi la.. cannot reply till 26th of nov.. hehe.. cos camping lazy n cannot bring hp de.. then 27-29 call mi or ss mi on my hp.. dun call my hse la.. will b in chalet.. hehe.. thx oh!!! *winkx*

lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies n lies!!!! n breaking of promises.. pls la.. is tt realli all dat u noe howta do huh? i had enuff man!!! pls la.. get outta my life will u? get a life man.. u tink u can live by all e lies? dunch u ever get tired of hab any sense of guilt?! *pfft* 4get it.. no pt tokin to a frieking person lyk u..

2004-11-14T16:16:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLADYS!!!! -big huggies-

2004-11-12T20:58:00.000+08:00

[[ a .heart.that.is.loyal.would.nvr.turn.cold.. ]]

-shocked- mann..!!!! how can daphne be out man!!!*pffft* mann!!!! daphne rawks lo!!! how can she b out de?! wad e.. but at least sylvester not out..*phew* but daphne shldn't b out wad!!!! *pengx* wadeve..

today wento town with ming zhen.. AGAIN.. n of course.. kena abuse.. AGAIN.. hahaX.. kick my slipper till so far away in e MRT.. kanasai...! =X hehe.. jkjk.. =X .. hehehe... then she wento buy a skirt.. so ma fan!!! tis one.. cannot.. tt one.. oso cannot la.. =X .. haX.. in e end bought a surf babe skirt nia.. haX.., n i was so damn tired..*zzz* budden hor! i saw a realli nice n sweet handbag in roxy man!!! *arrgh* now gotta e urge to buy it lehx.. budden exp lehx.. hahaX.. $49!!!! gotta save money!!!!! hehehe.. then buy mac for kor then went hm liao lo.. haX..

came hm.. n.. here m i! haX.. saw a vry cute skin.. budden.. kinda lyk too plain liao.. haix.. sadd!!! so nvr change lo.. still lookin!!! hehehe...

2004-11-10T13:08:00.000+08:00

[[ FrM tOdAy OnWaRdS.. i PrOmIsE tO kEeP iT iN mY hEaRt.. NvR tA tAkE iT oUt AgAin.. ]]
[[ walking pass u.. not giving a damn.. n pretendin i nvr knew u.. i'm sorrie i cant b perfect.. ]]

tuesday..(9/11/04)
wee.. happy today.. hahaX.. mi went out to look for e end-of-yr camp de identity.. went with denise n samantha at first de.. hahaX.. budden hor ltr ming zhen suddenly sms mi ask mi wanna go out nort so i told her i was in town n she look for us.. hahaX.. waited soooooo damn long for her sia.. =X .. hehehe..

well.. wento walk ard taka.. hahaX.. then hab precious tots.. went in walk ard n sam was lyk lookin ard for e prezzie gladys n co. bought for her de.. budden she didnt find it.. onli found e card larhx.. hahaX.. then she was lyk waaaaa so exp.. hahaX.. then mi n denise bought one card holder.. hahaX.. n wento help ppl buy a goggle.. hahaX.. expensive nehx!!!!

sam was hungry liao.. so we acc her go n eat lo.. mi onli drank a cup of bubble tea n i was so damn full liao.. then sam dunno eat how mani things hor still.. hungry.. ("._.) wahx.. wonder where did she store all her food.. lol..

wento heeren ltr.. after samantha finish eating.. hahax.. wento e top level then walk down.. then ming zhen hor finally came.. hahaX.. so went to e neos shop n took foto.. hahaX.. mi nvr bring so much money n i by e tyme spent $30 liao so ming zhen paid for mi.. hahaX.. e one mi n her take de.. budden all take 2gether de is i pay myself.. hahaX.. so nxt tyme mux treat her back.. lol.. SHE BULLIER ARHX!!!! hahaX.. keep tickling mi.. -pouts- nvrm.. mi can tickle back de.. hahaX..

well.. then walk ard lo.. lol.. budden hor.. sianzation noe.. cos look here look there there's nth tt has gotta do wib octopus de.. hahaX.. then we wento e 3rd level*tink so* n they were filmin e new citybeats*eh tink is tis show la*.. then we saw sharon ou hopping ard with 2 other actor n actress.. hahaX.. budden dunno e name la.. lol.. sharon so damn chio.. budden vv fair.. hahaX.. but she farni n friendly la.. lol.. samantha stand there keep wantin to take pic.. hahaX.. then we were lyk standing in front or rather a little in e shop then e friekin lady-boss was so damn kanasai lo.. she was bitchy.. she told mi n ming zhen.. "gurls.. is there anything wrg.. u're blocking my way.." in a damn sarcastic voice.. mann.. pls la.. e door of ur shop is so damn big lo.. y do u have to walk our way lehx? mann.. i forgot e name of e shop.. if nort i'd hab posted it one.. N PLS LA.. NO ONE'S IN UR SHOP LO.. IF THEY WANNA GO IN THERE'S SO MANI OTHER SPACE TO LET THEM IN!!! *pffft*then mi n ming zhen walk ard cos dun wanna stand there la..

walk ard then ask samantha n denise go liao.. cos not much time.. hahaX.. then look ard nth lo.. so wento taka n look n taka hab liao.. ("._.) eh.. waste our tyme sia.. hahaX.. then call grace lo.. tell her find liao ask her go n c lo.. haX.. then wento eat cos.. samantha hungry again.. (._.") haX.. so wento mac n eat.. n ming zhen told us smth*gross* .. hahaX..

today..
was so damn tired in e mornin.. duch feel lyk goin to mark oso.. budden habta go la.. hahaX.. carol was lyk.. late for 15mins.. haX.. told her meet at 9 dun belief.. haX.. then wento meet gladys they all n she was later.. lol.. then mann.. e a maths was so damn chimilogy sia.. was indices wad move here n there..*pEnGx* then mi onli noe a simple few.. haha.. e rest mi n caroline n denise there all gong gong.. lol.. esp mi!!!! haX.. went hm after tt.. lol..

pErFeCt
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

2004-11-07T18:12:00.000+08:00

wahx~ tis few days i'm crazzzzyyyy.. hahaX.. keep hab some weirdo dreamx.. lol.. then ay dunno la! hahaX.. so damn weird jiu shi le la!!! hahaX.. gimme e creeps man... hahax.. sianzation.. today wento e expo for e dunno wad food thingy la.. lol.. cos my cousin workin there givin away e coffee thingy.. n look here n there their's has e MOST ppl n MOST organised de.. hahaX.. n most grand de.. lol.. then walk ard la.. then en en keep make mi so damn ps!!! *pffft* then was so damn tired..*zzz* cos walk here n there oso nth de.. hahaX.. nth interesting la.. budden i saw a nice pants!!!!! hahaX.. wanna buy but forget it la.. lol. i lazy to try.. hahaX.. suddenly saw so mani ppl takin pooh thingy.. wanna go n find de.. budden mama wanna go hm liao.. hahaX.. then.. went hm!!! hahaX.. sianzation.. lol..

2004-11-04T17:13:00.000+08:00

[[sO nEaR yEt So FaR..]]

pls lo.. stop being so damn farktarded lo.. mann.. i damn hate u lorhx.. everyday c u so damn sianzation lo.. wa liew eh.. wad e hell u wan? tink i ur provider izit? everytime take things then nvr return.. sae would return oso nvr.. return liao oso spoil liao.. wa liew.. then dunno sae wad shity kinda excuses.. pls la.. u're so damn irritatin to mi lo.. GO TO E ARMY ASAP LA.. stop bothering mi!!!! yayaya.. i'm a bitch so wad? at least i'm nort a guy bitch cos.. it takes a bitch to noe another bitch one yea? hahahaX.. GUY bitch.. 1st time heard of it man.. stupid.. get outta e hse huh? go out lyk u do everyday la.. so tt i dun hab to c u.. u onli tink of urself onli.. pls la.. my cam oso lost it.. tis one lost tt one lost.. then borrow this borrow tt in e end lehx?! NVR RETURN ANYONE!!!!!!

tink my attitude sarkx yea? well.. y dunch u tink of urs? isnt it worse? lose things go n pay urself la.. stop askin for money n PLS LA.. stop makin e house sooooooooooooooooooo damn noisy with ur computer n UR VOICE!!!! ur voice is irritatin to my ear lorh.. it's a IRRITANT!!!!! pffft.. stayin at hm makes mi so MAD!!!!! pffft.. stop sayin urself as bein so damn mighty la.. wanto study tis study tt.. budden in e end laze here n there.. wt.. then everytime shoot mi.. pls lo.. u n she bicker my business mehx? siao eh.. ppppppppppffffffffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttttttttt...

pffft.. so damn pissed off mann.. cant stand it any longer!!! *arrgh* nxt wk WHOLE WK OUTTA E HSE!!! pffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttt.. stay at hm look at u i'd rather GET TO ZZZ!!!!!

2004-11-03T18:56:00.000+08:00

ThEsE wOrDs..
Threw some chords together
The combination D-E-F
Is who I am, is what I do
No one's gonna lay it down for you
Try to focus my attention
But I feel so A-D-D
I need some help, some inspiration
(But it's not coming easily)
Whoah oh...

Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later

These words are my own
From my heart flown
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

Read some Byron, Shelly and Keats
Recited it over a Hip-Hop beat
I'm having trouble saying what I mean
With dead poets and drum machines
I know I had some studio time booked
But I couldn't find a killer hook
Now you've gone & raised the bar right up
Nothing I write is ever good enough

These words are my own
From my heart flown
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

I'm getting off my stage
The curtains pull away
No hyperbole to hide behind
My naked soul exposes
Whoah.. oh.. oh.. oh.. Whoah.. oh..

Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later

These words are my own
From my heart flown
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you...
I love you, is that okay?

yday..
went to e hospital yday as usual la.. l0l.. then went hm n conference with gladys they all.. hehe.. then they tok bout jay n stuffs la.. alot of time no one tokin de.. hahax.. then tok tok sudd gladys ask mi smth bout him.. mann.. scarly lo.. can dun sudd tok bout him not? i'll scare one lehx!!! hahax.. ltr heart attack hor!!! hehehX..

today..
wento sch today.. hahaX.. went for fun de.. lol... act no nid go de la.. cos we noe wad klass liao.. but go for fun.. heheX.. cos at hm nth to do then mum's always nagging at mi..*RoLLs EyE* siazation one lehx.. everyday hear her nag n nag.. my ear so damn pain lorhx.. hahaX.. my tuition cher so good.. hahaX.. help her give out flyers.. lol.. 1000 for $25.. heeX.. dunno y my cher gimme tis job mom allow then i go n find job myself dun allow.. -.-" duhx.. cant stand her.. i mean wad's e diff man.. hahaX.. tis one oso job tt one oso job mahx.. hahaX.. oh ps.. out of topic liao.. =X .. heheX.. ekk.. be4 going to sch meet ccelia n huixian n gladys.. hahaX.. GLADYS IS E LATEST.. =X hahaX.. mux advertise for her.. =X.. i so bad.. hehe.. then after tt went to sch than look for felicia n wento eat.. hahaX.. but no appetite.. onli vry thirsty.. lol.. ehs.. then wento jalan jalan ard np larhx.. hahaX.. went baq to sch again cos mux give e booklist n stuff n we forgot.. but in e end went back oso nth la.. lol.. we sat at e pigeon hole n tok n crap.. took fotos n went hm liao.. lol.. gotta ciaos.. heheX.. buaiz..*muackx*

2004-11-02T16:19:00.000+08:00

wahx.. nth to do today.. hahaX.. sat infront of e pc for so mani hrs.. hahaX.. so sian look for layouts n stuffs..lol.. now mi de blog so da pinkish n messy liao.. hahaX.. tmr still habta go baq to sch.. mann.. leave mi alone can? hahaX>.. lazy to go sch la.. i wanna go out!!! heheheX..

2004-11-01T20:03:00.000+08:00

wahx.. good luck to all my seniors takin o's tmr worx.. all da best!!!! heheX.. i'm sure u all will do well de!!! mux takkaire worx!!! cos e weather is bad these few days huh? heheX.. work hard be4 playin hard!!! *winkx*

2004-10-30T14:57:00.000+08:00

[[neva noes wad e future holds..cherish e present..]]
mann.. i'm sick nw..!!! stood under e sun for so long today..-pouts- make mi more sick n ran a fever!!! -.-" today guides is kinda slack lehx.. hahaX.. we do everything so damn slow than kena scoldins n so on.. -.-" mann.. shld i call xinyi n tok to her mom n comvince her to let xinyi go for camp christine? hahaX.. onli thing i scare is she sae her mum cfm scold mi de.. -.-" hahaX.. but i wanto try lei.. get scoldinds oso nvrm de.. =X haha..basically today jux wento guides n rot at hm nia.. lol..nth to do so wento do so damn lots of quiz..*crazy miex*

You are most like Robin! A leader and fearless by
nature, you tend to dive straight into
something without thinking. You have a hard
time trusting your friends sometimes and you
are extremely serious when you have to. You
don't like being compared to someone you are a
rival with and sometimes your temper gets the
best of you. Out of all of your friends you
might be the one who dreams to be leader or is
the leader. Whatever the reason sometimes you
need to look before you leap.

Which Teen Titans Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hahaX.. quite true larhx.. lolx.. got tis frm cuiyi's blog.. hahaX..

You're a "Green Angel". You're one person
who is extremely protective of people around
you (especially your friends) and you'd end up
as a gaurdian angel. You're stronger than most
and aren't ashamed to show it. People know how
tough you are and don't dare to mess with you
when you get mad. You've got a serious justice
complex so anything that seems wrong makes you
mad. You're real close with your friends and
couldn't live wihout them so even in heaven,
you want to help them. You know they'd want you
as a gaudian angel and you'd love to be able to
ensure safety of your friends for yourself
because you're on of those "If you want
something done right, do it yourself" kind
of person.

What Color Angel Are You? (ANIME PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla
i.. i got nth to say.. hahaX..

You're a Spring. You usually are very close-knit
with your friends and value everyone freidnship
you have. You're a real people person and
everyone loves how friendly you are. You're
good with encouraging people but usually don't
like to be the center of attention. You are a
social butterfly and probably are in several
circles of friends but it's just because you're
well liked and you make people comfortable.
You're both fun and wise but you are very
realistic about life.

What season are you? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
I LURB MY FFWENX!!!!

youre soft on the inside but have a protective
shell so you dont melt for all things
sentimental. while youre not going to forget
what's important to you, youre also open to
romance in whatever form it might take. youll
hav an amazing vday, whether you spend it w/ a
cute boy, or hav a girls' night out.

how romantic are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
kinda agree..=X ..

Congrats! Your a Pure Angel! Angels, as far as most
of them go, are all compatabile creatures, but
Pure ones simply are symbols of God. Pure
Angels always appear when a child is born, when
a rainbow is seen, or when someone shares their
first kiss. They never grow old, an can appear
in the shape of a naked woman with white, bold
wings. Pure angels are the carriers of god, and
show their love to everyone in the world.

What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla
duhx!!!naked?! narhx.. i'm innocent remember? =X ..

You are like the light fairy. She beleives only in
comfort and happiness. She ahs the power to
make people happy and comfortable in the
darkest of times. She loves all beings equally,
but when she is not needed, she can also be
annoying, she follows people, and is too much
of a goody goody, and can drive people
nuts!!!!!!!! That is all the major things about
the Light fairy. can you relate to some of
them? You probably can, because that is what
this quiz is for!

**The ultimate Fairy quiz**(anime pics!) for girls, but if you are a guy you can take it too! !**being improved more**!
brought to you by Quizilla
oh pls!!! i'm nort a goody goody!!!!

Your Aeris! You are a very caring and mysteries
girl. You always worry about your loved ones.
At first glance people might think that your a
happy girl with no worries but deep down inside
you are a confused individual. Believe in
yourself more, then you will conquer all.

Which Female Character from Final Fantasy Vii Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
hahaX.. part bout belivin in myself more is kinda true though.. hahaX..

Your beauty is inspiring. Your beauty is the kind
that would inspire people to write poetry or
paint beautiful artwork with. People think your
absolutely gorgeous but you seem to think
differently sometimes. Guys daydream about you
but not just because of your lovely body but
because of your face. Your kind of beauty can
be characterized by perfectly clear skin. Your so
beautiful that usually people can't stop
looking at you. You can be profound and really
understand people's emotions You're a work of
art inside and out.

What kind of beauty should you have? (girls w/ pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
*vomits* nort exactly true.. but e pic's nice though.. hahaX..

************************************************
01. name: taolian
02. hobbies: mani mani mani
03. gender: female*winkx*
04. primary school: xishan..*mann.. i miss my ffwenx*
05. level now: sec 2
06. horoscope: Cancer la..
07. secondary school: Yishun Town Secondary
08. address: Yishun blah blah blahx.. hahaX..
09. zodiac: horse.. heh..
10. hair: long..
11. eye colour: brown
12. hair colour: brown..*i did not dye!!!*
13. rightie or leftie: Rightie!!!
14. marital status: single!!! hahaX..
15. siblings: 2 elder bro..*bullier* =X ..
16. last 5 digits of your number: 3128
17. birthdate: 07/2/04
18. do you have a car: narhx.. i'm underage aint i???!!!
19. any piercings: yep..
20. do you have any exs: No!!!!!!!!
_____________Have you .._________________

21. tried smoking: narhx.. it sark..
22. drink alcohol: Yep.. hahaX.. jux a few sips.. lol..
23. been hurt emotionally: Yep.. hu has nort?
24. kept a secret from anyone: Yep.. of cos..! hu has nort mann?
25. been on stage: Yep..*stage-fright* =X ..
____________Favourites ..__________________

26. colours: Black,Blue,white, pink, silver
27. food: Cupnoodles =X
28. drinks: mani mani.. hahaX..
29. numbers: 72
30. cartoons: dun sae is Sesame Street or elmo can liao!!!! -.-"
31. sports: eh..
32. song: fly.. jie jou.. pieces of miex.. something bout u.. lalalalalala~
33. movie: alot lehx.. a walk to remember la.. seredipity.. sassy gurl.. hundred days with mr arrogant.. lalalalala~
34. subject: anithin BUT CHINESE..
35. place: places near the sea n nature.. town..
_____________Right now .._________________
36. wearing: a shirt n shorts..
37. hairstyle: 2 pony tail.. -.-"
38. looking at: The computer screen la.. lol..
39. thinking of: things..*obviously aint it? =X*
40. playing with: neopets.. =X
______________Do you believe in ..______________
41. love: YES..
42. faith: Yep..
43. yourself: sometimes.. hahaX..
44. ghosts: mayb mayb nort..
45. angels: eh?
_____________In the last 24 hours .._________________
46. worn jeans: yep..
47. cleaned your room: lazy la.. =X..
48. cried: sadly yes i did.. =X..
49. met someome new: narhx..
50. last person I talk to on the phone: er.. xinyi? sec 1 de..
_____________Love life ..________________
51. do you have a bf/gf: NARHX!!!!!
52. have a secret admirer: NARHX~~!!!!!
53. do you wanna get married: yep.. hahaX..
54. do you plan on having kids: yep.. babues r kawaii nehx!!!!*smilex*
55. how old you wanna be when you get married: 25?
56. how old you wanna be when you have your first child: depends..
57. how many kids do you want: 3?
58. would you have kids before marriage: narhx
59. do you have a crush: lalalalala``~
60. what do you want most in a relationship: Understanding and trust*smilex*
_____________Either one .._________________
61. Pink or Black: both!!! =X ..
62. Kisses or Hugs: Hug*secure* =X ..
63. Summer or Winter: Summer!!!
64. Sunny or Rainy: Rainy*can play in e rain!!!*
65. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.. preferbably both.. =X ..
66. Sleepin or Chilling: chilling.. hahaX..
67. Music or TV: Music..
68. Hamburger or Pizza: pizza!!! hahaX..
69. Smile or Laughing: Laughing..*giggles*
70. Sleeping or eating: sleeping..
71. McDonald's or KFC: Mac bahx..
72. Silver or gold: Silver.. gold's outta fashion!!!!
73. Sunset or sunrise: SUNRISE!!!! mann.. it was so nice lorhx!!!!
74. On phone or in person: In person la.. hahaX..
75. Diamonds or Pearls: diamonds!!!!! hahaX..

2004-10-29T14:08:00.000+08:00

[ - p a s t - ]
#o1 - when were you born? 2nd july..

#o2 - where were you born? mount elizabeth.. heh..

#o3 - what was your nursery teacher's name? ekk.. do i look lyk i remember?! =X .. i onli remember tt she was a fine n vv good cher.. heh..

#o4 - what was your first pets name? ` My brother had some fishies...but i dun tink got
name..hahaX..

#o5 - what was your worst accident? chase by dog!!!!!*shivers*

#o6 - what was/were your favorite animation? AISHITERU ZE BABY*kawaii nehx!!!*.. blech.. initial d.. school rumble*funny siak!!!!*.. rozen maiden.. mani mani more la.. hahaX..

#o7 - who was your first best friend? cynthia bahx.. cos remember i gotta noe her when i was pri 1~!!! hahaX..

#o8 - when was the first time you ever went on a plane? eh.. wen i was smth bout 6-7? hahaX.. cnt remember liao..

#o9 - who was your first boyfriend/ girlfriend? NO!!!! dun hab..

# 1o - what was your favorite song when you were in primary five? man.. i hab S.T.M. how u ecpect mi to remember?! hahaX..

#11 - what was your favorite movie in primary two? *pengx*

#12 - what did you want to be when you grew up? cher..

#13 - what used to be your favorite color? Pink! hahaX..

#14 - what was your favorite subject? it has always been eng.. lol..

#15 - did you ever wet your pants at sch? eek!!!! of course nort!!!! man!!!!

#16 - did you ever get sent to the principal? ya.. once.. *roll eyes*

#17 - did you ever steal anything? narhx.. mi innocent de.. hahaX.. =X ..

#18 - what was your worst fear? `alone in e dark bahxz.. n losin ppl tt i love*ffwenx family blahx blahx*..

#20 - did you ever suck your thumb? i did when i was a baby!!! hahaX..

[ P r e s e n t - ]
#21 - what time is it? 8.28..*sg idol!!!!*

#22 - what's the date? 29/10/04

#23 - who is your best friend? ffwenx tt i cherish..*winkx*

#24 - what is your favorite movie? i lazy type.. =X

#25 - what is your favorite song? i oso lazy type down.. but hab five for fightin de song.. white houses n mani mani more..

#26 - do you have any pets? nope..

#27 - if so what are their names? lalalalalala.. =X

#28 - what is your favorite subject in sch?eng!!!!

#29 - what color of hair do you have?Natural Dark*someone's jealous liao..* =X ..

#30 - what color of eyes do you have? dark brown

#31 - do you still watch cartoons?If i realli sian until de kind of degree..haha

#32 - what is your favorite tv show? Ren WO aO yOU!!!

#33 - do you go online often? abnormalli often lor..lol

#34 - what's your worst fear? alone in e dark bahxz.. n losin ppl tt i love*ffwenx family blahx blahx*..

#35 - what's your favorite color(s)? `
Pink...blue.. black.. white..

#36 - what state do you live in? singapore

# 37 - do you have a bf/gf? Not now.. mi inno.. =X..

# 38 - what's your favorite type of food? nice food!!!

#39 - do you drive? underage la

[ f u t u r e - ]
#41 - what do you want to be when you grow up? cher.. child psychatrist*eh correct speelin nort?* =X .. lawyer.. work in child care centre.. hahaX.. i tink too much eh? =X ..

#42 - do you want to go to university? Yes

#43 - do you want to get married? yes

#44 - if so at what age? if not why? 25

#45 - do you want to have kids? YEs

#46 - if you do drive what kind of car do you want? i dunNo..i tink juz a sport car like dat bahz

#47 - what age do you think you'll live to be? eh?

#48 - where do you want to live when you're 25? sentosa.. =X ..

#49 - what movie do you want to see next saturday night? `got Cg la...but i want to watch Princess diary 2!!

#50 - are you happy? `yes

#51 - what time do you think you will go to bed when you're 70? `hahaz... i dun even noe if i live
that long...hahaz..hello...i'm 14 now...u expect me to go tink like what time i'll go slp when i'm 70!!?!!

#52 - do you think you will have the same friends as you do now? `i hope i will..but at e same time i wanna noe more frenz!!

#53 - do you think everyone will be jealous of u? narhx.. nth to b jealous bout!!!

#54 - do you want to be president of the US? NARHX..

#55 - do you want to be famous? narhx.. low profile's better..*winkx*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
+Happy Or Sad : I sUPpoSed i'm HappIe... =)
+Sleepy or Awake : Half half...haha..i juz woke up...but still feel like slping..hahax..I'M SICK!!!!=X
+Hungry or Full : Hungry..*hElLo!!!wHeRe'S mUaR lUnChIe?!*
+Dirty or Clean : -____- Of coZ iS cLEan la!! wad u expect? =X..
+Single or Taken: Single la!!!! i so inno..=X
+Alone or with someone beside u :aLOne...
+Sick or healthy : SICK!!!mann.. i hate sore throat n flu can?!

[WHAT]
---------------
+You last ate : bowl bowl noodle..=X ..
+You last drank : a cup of mineral water.. hahaX..
+You wearing now : 2e6's KLASS TEE!!!!+shorts la..
+Are you thinking of : What will happen in future.. wad's true love? is there anithing called eternity? n mani more la.. =X..*ehs.. actually after exam liao still tink~!!!=X*
+Are you wishing for : lalalala~
+Are you fear of?: anything tt is considered creepy crawlies!!! esp e flyin cockroach!!!!!!*shivers*..Cats..
+Do you overuse: Tissue paper...hahax.. usin alot nw..*rolls eyes*
+Do you take for granted : My Tissue paper...lOlx..
+Do you cherish most?: My relationship wif my ffwenx..!!! n of course nt forgettin my family n relatives la.. hahaX..

[WHO]
---------------
+Do you miss the most : human..=X
+Do you love: my ffwenx n family!!!!
+Do you feel most happy with: human..=X
+Makes you laugh like a maniac: GLADYS KOH!!!! HUIXIAN!!! SAMANTHA!!! ANNI!!! PEIXUAN!!! hahaX.. basically e alamak sista la.. hahaX.. n not forgettin cuiyi they all.. hahaX..
+idiot who can make me luff like a maniac: William hung? =X
+other ppl can make me luff like a maniac: Isn't it e same..y keep repeating e QNs!*pengx*
+Makes u sleep: Mrs eu.. =X..
+Makes you cry: E one hu Broke my heart..but no longer!!*smilex*
+Enlightens you: my ffwenx!!! hab gladys la.. cuiyi la.. felicia la.. caroline*nort my ffwen.. is my cuzzie!!! =X*.. huiting la.. yingx2 la.. yq la.. ty la.. angelin la.. hahax.. mani mani more!!!
+Ill-treats you: eh? hu arhx? =X orhx!!! Rosanna mdm!!! keep hitting my head!!!!! *stupid liao la!!!!*
+Are your good friends: those tt i love!!!! hahaX..*muackx*
rest is my best frenz : those tt i love more!!! =X .. hahaX..*muackx+huggies*

[WHEN]
---------------
+Is your birthday : 2 july..
+Is your loved one's birthday: har..!!!! alot lehx.. muz include all i tink not enuff space.. =X .. hahax..
+is the happiest day of your life: eek.. how i noe sia? =X.. S.T.M!!!! hahaX..
+Did you last swear: yday as i can c frm my blog.. =X..
+Did you last have a fight: Nv...hahax.. mi goodie gurl lai de.. =X..

[HOW]
---------------
+Do you break off with someone: Sms bahx.. =X ..
+Do you overcome depression: tok to moix ffwenx.. moix da jie jie*cuzzie*.. write in notebk! heheX..
+Do you make friends: Hmm...tok lorhx.. =X ..
+u pass your time: sleep.. go into dreamland.. surf e net.. sms.. go SHOPPIN!!! go ROLLER BLADING!!! =X..
+Do you pass your exams: Pray and study!!!! heheX..
+Do you find yourself: crazy!!! lamer.. crapper.. lalala n so on.. =X ..

[WHY]
---------------
+Do you normally get angry:Sumone upsets me la!!!!*isnt it obvious*
+Do you cry: Sumone hurt me... or i did smth i shld nort hab done? =X ..
+Are you who you are: cos.. i'm created tis way!!! heeX..
+Are you doing this survey: Coz i veh sian lehx.. nth to do de..

[WHERE]
---------------
+do you live : yishun..
+Is your fav hangout: town..
+Did you spend your last christmas: in town.. buying things.. hahaX..
+Are you now: In my mum's office rm at hm usin pc!!!*obvious rgt?* =X ..

Last words : To everyone...Dun get upset by lil things surroundin u...Coz U can make a decision
whether to overcome them wif a good attitude or get overcome by them wif a bad attitude..so cheer uP!! LOVE U GURLS n GUYS!!! n o'.. coming liao.. so mux wixh my goodie seniors ALL DA BEST!!!!*muackx*

************************************************

Would you ever:

1. Eat a bug?
_ no way man!!!! die die oso no.

2. Bungee jump?
_ eek!!! height phobia!!!! =X ..

3. Hang glide?
_ ehs. o.0"

4. Kill someone?
_ i hope i could.. u noe wad is law by law..? hahax..

5. Kiss someone of the same sex?
_ yahs.. on e cheek larhx.. hahaX..

6. Have sex with someone of the same sex?
_ no. im nort a real lesbian..! hahaX..

7. Parachute from a plane?
_ narhs. even if i dunch die, i will scream to death!!!! hahaX..

8. Walk on hot coals?
_ fer wad?! torturing myself..?

9. Go out with someone for their looks?
_ yahs.. mayb.. may nort..

10. For their reputation?
_ ehs.. NOPE..

11. Be a vegetarian?
_nope.. =X ..

12. Wear plaid with stripes?
_ if considersin e fact tt im 3 yrs old.. =X ..

13. Meet a stranger?
_ i did liao so no nid sae.. =X ..

14. Sing Karaoke?
_ o.0 why nort..?

15. Get drunk off your ass?
_ hehez. no..

16. Shoplift?
_ mi good gurl lai de.. =X..

17. Run a red light?
_ wadda u mean?

18. Star in a porn video?
_ fuk off..

19. Dye your hair blue??
_ narhx.. dun haf to be so outstandin!!! cos i'm nort e OUTSTANDIN one.. hahaX..

20. Be on Survivor?
_ i dunch wan to torture myself and be dared..!!! esp zzz-ing with creepy crawlies!!!!

21. Wear makeup in public?
_ wen im grown up.. nort nw.. natural's better..

22. Not wear makeup in public?
_ of cosh..!!!!!

23. Cheat on a test?
_ narhx.. at e most tok nia.. =X ..

24. Would u make someone cry?
_ if i'm damn pissed off la.. hahax..

25. Date someone more than 10 years older than
you?
_ narhs.. too old liao bahs.. =X ..

26. Stay up all night?
_ i did dat every single day.. x= .. hehe.. cnt get to zzz marhx.. wad to do? x= ..

2004-10-28T08:50:00.000+08:00

[[LoVe MaKeS tHe HeArT gRoW bUt KnOwLeDgE iN lOvE MaKeS tHe HeArT gRoW wIsEr.]]

to a freakoling person..:* mann... u're so damn bitchified lo.. i'm sure tt u dun have any BEST FRENN oreadi.. I CAN SAE TT I'M DAMN SURE LO!!! y m i so damn sure? cos u're so damn 2-faced lo.. ACT in front of ur frenx.. BUT behind them backstabb them.. mann.. r u sure tt u're a GOOD frenn nort? man tink bout it lorhx.. even ur BESTIE*nort mi n would nvr be mi..DUN APPRECIATE IT!!!!* u oso talk behind her.. WAD THE.. pls la.. even if it is UR best frenn lehx!!! UR lo.. look ----> scroll down.. have c e PUKES category marhx? ay.. dun wanto bother u la.. i tell u.. u belong to almost e cateory mann.. being a bitch.. copying ppl style*nort my style~!!!!*.. 2 faced friek acting in front n saying BAD things behind them..SEEK ATTENTION by acting kewt.. make use of ur frenx to KEEP u company but nort treasurin them.. BREAKS ppl heart*shant sae it out..damn obvious*..two timerrs? cannot exactly sae liddat.. cos another guy DUN WAN u.. damn friekolingly hypocrite.. flirt though hab BF liao*last time*.. BETRAYING ur frenx TRUST in u.. for u tokin bad bout them.. such an ARSEHOLE..

1.What's your name? taolian``
2. How old are you? `14!~
3. Do you have any nickname? of course la.. lazy to type..=X..``
4. When was your first love? p5``
5. First kiss? mi inno gurl!!!!``
6. How tall are you? ` eek.. 158?``
7. What handphone you using now? nokia6230``
8. Sour, spicy or sweet? ` spicy and sweet.
9. What would u do when you are free? go roller bladin.. ride bike.. get out in e sun.. shoppin.. watch tv.. surf e net.. take neos.. sleepin.. anihow tink tink.. GO TO THE BEACH!!!!
10. Hobbies? ` same as e top!!! hahaX..
11. Do you club? ` im underage la.. hahaX..
13. What are ur fav magazines?` seventeen.. teenage.. cleo..
14. Are you a drinker? ` of cosh. i everyday oso drink water one..=X
15. How much money will you bring when you are out? ` see go where first lorhs. n oso if i hab money nort.. lol..
16. Car, diamond or money? ` money. gort money can buy everything mahs.
17. What`s your favourite quote ? eh.. alot lehx.. hab u tink too much.. sensitive n so on la.. hahaX..
18. Coffeebean or Starbucks? ` eh. starbucks bahs.. hehe..
19. Where do you stay? ` at home. *obviously..*
20. What is your favorite food? ` instant mee. hahaX.. cos lazy to cook marhx.. lol..
21. Chocolate, sweet or cake? ` chocolate. *yummy*
22. Any tattoos? ` nahs. pain!!!!!
23. Do you dye your hair? `nope.. mi gd gurl..*lyk real*
24. What languages do you speak? ` eng, chi..
25. How many phones are there in your house? 5.. haahX..
26. How many toilets? ` 2 pathetic ones.
27. When you are doing your business in the toilet, what will you do? ` do business larhs.
28. Do you swim? yep.. hehe..
29. Do you gamble? nahx.. hate gamblers..
30. What is your favorite sport? roller bladin.. hahax..
31. Love, techno or classical? nice than it rawks.. hahaX..
32. What is your favorite drink? ` lemon, green tea. aloe vera apple.
33. What is your temper? ` kinda cool, hot, damn sucky. x=
34. What kind of person are you? ` sensitive, sucky, joker, frenly, charactered.
35. What would you wear when you go to bed? ` simple. shorts and shirt.
36. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? `see da tym.
37. Do you eat breakfast? ` yep
38. Favorite tv shows? ` loads. hahaX..
39. Who do you want to meet? ` everyone.. but nort e sucker at e top.. =X
40. Where do you like to go? ` beach; sentosa..
41. Do you wear specs? `yep..
42. When is your birthday? ` 02.07 over ler wor! but still hab nxt yr!!! hahaX..
43. Do you buy branded goods? ` depends. if i reali lik it!!! hahaX.. now i wanna buy roxy hat!!!! hahaX..
44. How many hours do you spend talking on the phone? least is 2hr.. most is 10 hr... kena scold!!!
45. How many bags do you have? alot lehx.. nvr count de..
46. How many clothes you have? ` at least hab 1 la... hahaX.. most i dunno
47. Favorite hangout? ` beachs. shoppin centres..*esp town*
48. Who do you love? ` dardar, lala, honey, dear, laogong, darlings, sweetie, juniors, my skool family, all mye meix, jiez, dis, kors.
49. Do you have pets? nopes
50. Do you bathe your dog? ` are u tokin bout me? i dun hab ani..
51. What illness do u have? ` xin li bian tai.. =X
52. How many friends do you have? ` eh.. lazy to count lehx... =X
53. What time do you sleep? ` late midnite..
54. Did any guy/gal give you presents? ` yeps!!! on my burbdae!!! love yas frenx!!!*muackx*
55. How many wallets do you have? ` more than one.. less than 10..
56. How many siblings do you have? 2gege.
57. Are you a gay or lesbian? lesbian! x=
58. What things do you have in ur room? bed.. one study table.. one bedside drawer.. one bookshelf.. one for cloths.. hahaX.. noe rm no space liao.. lol..
59. Do you have many photos? loads... hahaX..
60. How many computers do you have? ` ehs. two.. not mine though..
61. How long do you take to make up? pui.. i dunch do make up.. prefer natural..
62. What do you do before u sleep? yawn.. x=

2004-10-25T12:21:00.001+08:00

aUtObIoGrApHy..

You think you know me
Word on the street is that you do
You want my history
What others tell you won't be true

I walked a thousand miles while everyone was asleep
Nobody's really seen my million subtleties

Got stains on my t-shirt and I'm the biggest flirt
Right now I'm solo, but that will be changing eventually, oh
Got bruises on my heart and sometimes I get dark
If you want my auto, want my autobiography
Baby, just ask me

I hear you talking
Well, it's my turn now
I'm talking back
Look in my eyes
So you can see just where I'm at

I walked a thousand miles to find one river of peace
I walked a million more to find out what this shit means

Got stains on my t-shirt and I'm the biggest flirt
Right now I'm solo, but that will be changing eventually, oh
Got bruises on my heart and sometimes I get dark
If you want my auto, want my autobiography
Baby, just ask me

I'm a bad ass girl in this messed up world
I'm the sexy girl in this crazy world
I'm a simple girl in a complex world
A nasty girl, you wanna get with me?
You wanna mess with me?

Got stains on my t-shirt and I'm the biggest flirt
Right now I'm solo, but that will be changing eventually, oh
I laugh more than I cry
You piss me off, good-bye
Got bruises on my heart and sometimes I get dark
If you want my auto, want my autobiography
Baby, just ask me

__ure my star__

ure my star